It's really difficult to argue a point convincingly, especially when the person disagrees with you. I can think of a few ideas on how to handle your opponent so that they feel more inclined to agree with you, but that has to wait for a time when I don't have as much work.
It just so happens that what NOT to argue is just as fun to read. Especially when people do strange things in arguments like...
1. POINT OUT WHAT THE OTHER PERSON IS DOING
A while ago, when the Victoria's Secret thing was still on everyone's mind (Hahah! Now it spells out HARVEY MUDD ROX BOO CALTECH*,) we were mentioned by a certain Something Awful thread.
If that previous link doesn't work, it's because I don't have a Something Awful account and I am getting a big banner ad instead of the forum. All you need to know is that a dialogue took place that looked something like this:
Guy: You did that with a bot.
Mudder: We started off by isolating the captchas and building a webpage that the entire campus started particpating in by filling in captchas nonstop. It was very efficient and we got a lot of votes. Then someone made a bot that automatically fills many of the Victoria's Secret captchas and we ran that.
Guy: Yup, you're definitely using a bot.
Mudder: Here's a graph of what happened. You can see the changes in the beginning of the graph from when most people went to sleep, then a steady, non-fluctuating slope from when we started running the bot.
Guy: What's that graph? It looks just like a bot.
This doesn't look like you're using your argument effectively, it just shows that you're a little too eager to show everybody that you know what a bot is. I'm sure you all have seen great examples of this in your time, like:
Me: I like this person!
Guy: You're interested in him because you like him, aren't you?
Me: The author is doing this... (REALLY long analysis)
Guy: You're just pointing out what the author is doing.
What the cornhumping hell?
The only reason this shuts us up is because we're so confused as to why anyone would say that. What does that have to do with your point?
2. GIVE SOME CRAZY FICTIONAL PARABLE
I'm looking at you, Aesop.
Let's say you want to argue that communism is destructive, because no one has ever, ever done that before. You decide that the best way is to present an analogy that focuses on a communist society. It goes something like this:
"Once upon a time there was a communist society. Everyone was extremely unhappy because they did not have capitalism. Then everyone got so unhappy that society fell apart. Then all the communist leaders died. This is why communism is bad. The end."
Does anyone see a blatant problem with this? If the author has complete control over their fictional scenario, how does it prove anything to have the scenario crash to pieces? All it proves is the author's own opinion on the subject.
I see this a lot in science fiction writing. For a wonderful comic about this, check out Caveman Science Fiction from Dresden Codak. Great comic.
3. TREAT POLITICAL PARTIES LIKE SPORTS TEAMS
If someone's a huge fan of Mathletes or Calculicious or... I don't know many sports teams, bear with me... there's no way you're going to convince them to root for a different team just by listing good qualities. The sad thing is, I see people do this with political parties.
"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DEMOCRATS WOOOOOOOOO WE WON"
"UGH THAT NEWSPAPER IS A LIBERAL RAG HAHA ALL LIBERALS ARE GAY THEY SUCK"
Seriously, I swear that the media could label an extremely liberal dude as a Republican conservative and most people wouldn't tell the difference. Oh! Or if the person had no views in common with the "conservative" team of the U.S.A., except that abortion should be illegal. This isn't so much the media -whatever the media is- labeling candidates as such as it is people interpreting the labels instead of the views themselves.
How about this? Lol! It's funny because our team lost, but the other team sucks! I could say the same for the person with the Ginny avatar. You call that defending?
4. USE THEMSELVES AS AN EXAMPLE FOR WHAT IS RIGHT
I'm sure we've all heard this one.
PERSON 1: I don't think people should use 'retarded' as an insult. It's degrading.
PERSON 2: Why? I've never used the word 'retarded' as an insult.
There are a couple problems with this. First, your actions probably don't apply to everyone else in the world, especially if it's in a context that someone has to argue over. Second, it sounds a bit condescending. In order to sway someone to your side, you should probably be connecting with them. Even in a non-argumentative context, it sounds kind of suspect:
PERSON 1: I don't really want to go on the rollercoaster.
PERSON 2: Why? I've been on the rollercoaster, and I didn't think it was scary.
Why not replace it with something neutral, like:
PERSON 1: I don't really want to go on the rollercoaster.
PERSON 2: Are you sure? It doesn't look that bad.
Much, much better. Person 1 will be so much happier now.
5. ASSUME THAT BECAUSE SOMEONE WON, THEIR ARGUMENT IS RIGHT
This one is self-explanatory. I could give an example, but the only one I can think of pits evolutionism against creationism, and I don't want to get mobbed in religious debate.
Ok, fine. Let's say a professor is arguing against a student in a philosophical argument that neither can prove. For the sake of argument, assume that the professor knows how to argue better. Does knowing how to argue better mean that the professor's ideas are correct? On the other hand, does being the underdog mean the student's ideas are correct?
Ideas are ideas, and it's fun for some people to debate, but this assumption can sometimes end in disaster. Come to your own conclusions based on facts, not debates. (Unless the conclusions are about one of the people debating.)
Anything else? Any funny debate stories?
*DISCLAIMER: I do not hate CalTech.
Showing posts with label lists. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lists. Show all posts
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Friday, October 30, 2009
I LOVE HALLOWEEEEEEEN
Dear blog.
Today, I ran around dressed as a giant recycling bin, politely asking drunk people if they had anything to recycle. You'd be surprised how many drunk people don't know the difference between paper and plastic recycling.
Anyway, since it's Halloween, and Halloween is about fun, we can discuss some ideas for getting the most mileage possible out of your Halloween. Halloween is my favorite holiday. Halloween!
1. BE IN A "FUN" MINDSET, BE ENERGETIC
This one is obvious, but many people choose to play a more serious character such as a spy. If you choose to do something like this, make sure the mood your costume takes is the mood you want other people to be in. If you are a serious non-verbal ninja, people may not want to party and dance in a circle around you.
Personally, I like to go full-out eccentric. If you have a different preference, use yours.
It's nice to do something other than straight-up humor sometimes. However, for maximum effect, do something that makes you look ridiculous. People will usually laugh with you if your costume restricts movement or moves in an entertaining way.
And spies? If we ask you a straight, serious question, don't keep dodging the question after we get annoyed.
2. DON'T JUDGE
It's a bit of a party-killer to come up to someone and tell them their costume sucks. It's also just as bad to point out that they have a strap loose or something broke. So, there may be people who disagree with me, but I have two main reasons for suggesting it. First, the person is probably aware of their own costume and/or has had people telling them about this all night. Second, it shows a borderline OCD or a desire to judge everyone's costume instead of enjoying it. Focus on the fun, not on costume quality. Halloween should be fun for everyone. Yes?
There are times when it is polite to do this. The only exception is if the mistake is something that could be embarrassing or dangerous if it goes unsolved, such as undergarments showing or one's tail being on fire.
3. HAVE A MEMORABLE IDENTIFIER
Make up a name! Make up a song! Make up a pun!
With this one, try to relate your act to the scope of people- if you are in a very large group of people and talk to many different people who you see only a couple of times, this can be important. If you are in a small group of people, they may not enjoy the repetition or the focus on your costume.
This applies to other people's costumes. Example: Someone tonight was dressed up as Chairman Mao, so I started making the communist cat puns from Cat and Girl as they ran away from me.
(Chairman Meow, Fide Cats-tro, Benito Mouse-olini... etc.)
4. TRICK OR TREAT...
No, you are not too old. No, it is not creepy. If you're worried, just act very playful and friendly. TRICK OR TREAT- unless you are vegan and all of the candy has milk in it, and the vegan candy that you ordered online was delivered at a horrible time and is arriving after Halloween.*
5. VOLUNTEER FOR OR RUN EVENTS
Many groups such as homeless shelters, programs for children with disabilities, and elementary schools have Halloween events. Some groups rely heavily on volunteers, so they probably will have contact information on the web. If you find the name of a group you want to get involved with, call them beforehand (around 2 weeks before Halloween) and ask if they have events planned or need help.
6. FOCUS ON OTHERS
There are tons of people who dress up on Halloween, and many of them have awesome costumes. Don't just focus on your costume. If someone else's costume is noteworthy, tell them about it. Reward hard work, because that person will probably go back next Halloween and come up with another awesome costume.
This doesn't mean you can't act extroverted-ly wacky. Use your energy in a way that entertains other people. Don't be ashamed to show off your costume if the way you do it is funny or exciting (or an interesting idea!) If your main purpose is to entertain everyone else, you'll probably end up having a better time. A little self-ridicule is good, especially on Halloween.
Ok, does anyone have any better ideas? Give me a break, it's Halloween.
*this is a purely hypothetical situation
Today, I ran around dressed as a giant recycling bin, politely asking drunk people if they had anything to recycle. You'd be surprised how many drunk people don't know the difference between paper and plastic recycling.
Anyway, since it's Halloween, and Halloween is about fun, we can discuss some ideas for getting the most mileage possible out of your Halloween. Halloween is my favorite holiday. Halloween!
1. BE IN A "FUN" MINDSET, BE ENERGETIC
This one is obvious, but many people choose to play a more serious character such as a spy. If you choose to do something like this, make sure the mood your costume takes is the mood you want other people to be in. If you are a serious non-verbal ninja, people may not want to party and dance in a circle around you.
Personally, I like to go full-out eccentric. If you have a different preference, use yours.
It's nice to do something other than straight-up humor sometimes. However, for maximum effect, do something that makes you look ridiculous. People will usually laugh with you if your costume restricts movement or moves in an entertaining way.
And spies? If we ask you a straight, serious question, don't keep dodging the question after we get annoyed.
2. DON'T JUDGE
It's a bit of a party-killer to come up to someone and tell them their costume sucks. It's also just as bad to point out that they have a strap loose or something broke. So, there may be people who disagree with me, but I have two main reasons for suggesting it. First, the person is probably aware of their own costume and/or has had people telling them about this all night. Second, it shows a borderline OCD or a desire to judge everyone's costume instead of enjoying it. Focus on the fun, not on costume quality. Halloween should be fun for everyone. Yes?
There are times when it is polite to do this. The only exception is if the mistake is something that could be embarrassing or dangerous if it goes unsolved, such as undergarments showing or one's tail being on fire.
3. HAVE A MEMORABLE IDENTIFIER
Make up a name! Make up a song! Make up a pun!
With this one, try to relate your act to the scope of people- if you are in a very large group of people and talk to many different people who you see only a couple of times, this can be important. If you are in a small group of people, they may not enjoy the repetition or the focus on your costume.
This applies to other people's costumes. Example: Someone tonight was dressed up as Chairman Mao, so I started making the communist cat puns from Cat and Girl as they ran away from me.
(Chairman Meow, Fide Cats-tro, Benito Mouse-olini... etc.)
4. TRICK OR TREAT...
No, you are not too old. No, it is not creepy. If you're worried, just act very playful and friendly. TRICK OR TREAT- unless you are vegan and all of the candy has milk in it, and the vegan candy that you ordered online was delivered at a horrible time and is arriving after Halloween.*
5. VOLUNTEER FOR OR RUN EVENTS
Many groups such as homeless shelters, programs for children with disabilities, and elementary schools have Halloween events. Some groups rely heavily on volunteers, so they probably will have contact information on the web. If you find the name of a group you want to get involved with, call them beforehand (around 2 weeks before Halloween) and ask if they have events planned or need help.
6. FOCUS ON OTHERS
There are tons of people who dress up on Halloween, and many of them have awesome costumes. Don't just focus on your costume. If someone else's costume is noteworthy, tell them about it. Reward hard work, because that person will probably go back next Halloween and come up with another awesome costume.
This doesn't mean you can't act extroverted-ly wacky. Use your energy in a way that entertains other people. Don't be ashamed to show off your costume if the way you do it is funny or exciting (or an interesting idea!) If your main purpose is to entertain everyone else, you'll probably end up having a better time. A little self-ridicule is good, especially on Halloween.
Ok, does anyone have any better ideas? Give me a break, it's Halloween.
*this is a purely hypothetical situation
Friday, October 23, 2009
Creating Names
Have any of you tried to name your normal microbiota yet?
No?
Oftentimes, we have to come up with an original name for something, such as the main character in an RPG. Sometimes we fail badly. The problem is, picking a name can be extremely important, especially if you choose a name that makes you laugh every time you think of it.
Here are some strategies- and feel free to suggest your own- for naming things:
1. EXTREMES
If you give someone an incredibly short name, it's funny. If you give someone an incredibly long name, it's funny. If you give someone an incredibly short name and tell people it's pronounced as some 20-syllable phrase, it's even better. A character's name can be too wacky or too normal, completely go against the character or validate the character to an extreme, and make large claims about the character or completely torture it.
Using objects in the name is also effective.
Example:
book. It's not even capitalized. Man.
Count Fabulous. He's a pink Plainstrider.
2. CHOOSE RHYTHM FIRST
If you want to go pro and start making up your own names for the extra tinge of uniqueness, go ahead. A good way to start is to pick the rhythm you want the name to have first- how many syllables do you want? Where should the stress land? Get a good idea in your head of how the name should sound, then start filling it out.
Example: Ustifilius. Utacratia. Fuitlack. Acustamondra.
One of these names is much different from the others, and that's because it was created by a different person by the other three. Look at the rhythms:
Ust-i-FIL-i-us
U-ta-CRA-tia
FWEET-lack
A-CUS-ta-MON-dra
If you guessed Fuitlack as the odd one out, you are right. The person who came up with that name wanted to stress the first syllable and have a shorter name, while the other person wanted to have a longer name with stress in the middle.
Actually, of the three that are similar, I made one and my best friend made two of them. You can tell who wrote what by looking at the rhythms too, actually. (Syllables.)
(Another hint: Start with U. It's just easier.)
3. GET A NAMING DICTIONARY
By having a naming dictionary, you have not only a huge list of possible names for things that you need many different names for (like normal microbiota, or Sims,) but also a basis for creating newer, crazier names over them. I'm not advertising- these are actually very, very useful to flip through whenever you need to name something and have no ideas.
If possible, get one of the older naming dictionaries, from the time when people named their kids Cleophus and Paxton.
In fact, if you search for strange names on Google, you can find quite a few options.
4. ENLIST ANOTHER PERSON
When another person is naming something with you, everything becomes funnier. It's best if you both brainstorm for a name. Then, pick the name that has you and the other person laughing or saying "YES! IT'S PERFECT!" for five minutes. One person you can brainstorm with is my roommate, Jessica, who wanted me to include her in a post.
There you go.
Any cool ideas for names?
No?
Oftentimes, we have to come up with an original name for something, such as the main character in an RPG. Sometimes we fail badly. The problem is, picking a name can be extremely important, especially if you choose a name that makes you laugh every time you think of it.
Here are some strategies- and feel free to suggest your own- for naming things:
1. EXTREMES
If you give someone an incredibly short name, it's funny. If you give someone an incredibly long name, it's funny. If you give someone an incredibly short name and tell people it's pronounced as some 20-syllable phrase, it's even better. A character's name can be too wacky or too normal, completely go against the character or validate the character to an extreme, and make large claims about the character or completely torture it.
Using objects in the name is also effective.
Example:
book. It's not even capitalized. Man.
Count Fabulous. He's a pink Plainstrider.
2. CHOOSE RHYTHM FIRST
If you want to go pro and start making up your own names for the extra tinge of uniqueness, go ahead. A good way to start is to pick the rhythm you want the name to have first- how many syllables do you want? Where should the stress land? Get a good idea in your head of how the name should sound, then start filling it out.
Example: Ustifilius. Utacratia. Fuitlack. Acustamondra.
One of these names is much different from the others, and that's because it was created by a different person by the other three. Look at the rhythms:
Ust-i-FIL-i-us
U-ta-CRA-tia
FWEET-lack
A-CUS-ta-MON-dra
If you guessed Fuitlack as the odd one out, you are right. The person who came up with that name wanted to stress the first syllable and have a shorter name, while the other person wanted to have a longer name with stress in the middle.
Actually, of the three that are similar, I made one and my best friend made two of them. You can tell who wrote what by looking at the rhythms too, actually. (Syllables.)
(Another hint: Start with U. It's just easier.)
3. GET A NAMING DICTIONARY
By having a naming dictionary, you have not only a huge list of possible names for things that you need many different names for (like normal microbiota, or Sims,) but also a basis for creating newer, crazier names over them. I'm not advertising- these are actually very, very useful to flip through whenever you need to name something and have no ideas.
If possible, get one of the older naming dictionaries, from the time when people named their kids Cleophus and Paxton.
In fact, if you search for strange names on Google, you can find quite a few options.
4. ENLIST ANOTHER PERSON
When another person is naming something with you, everything becomes funnier. It's best if you both brainstorm for a name. Then, pick the name that has you and the other person laughing or saying "YES! IT'S PERFECT!" for five minutes. One person you can brainstorm with is my roommate, Jessica, who wanted me to include her in a post.
There you go.
Any cool ideas for names?
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Things to Say to Strangers on Omegle
First off: There will not be a Thursday post. I have class from 8 AM to 10 PM on Wednesday. There will NEVER be a Thursday post (or a Tuesday post- I have class from 8 AM to 9:30 PM on Monday. Dang overachievers!) I'm putting the update schedule up now.
Anyway, to those of you who haven't heard of Omegle, it's a site where they pair you up with a random stranger to chat. What do people use it for? If you're using it to make friends, you're doing something wrong. The correct way to use it is to freak people out.
So, how do people freak others out? They use sexually explicit material, spout off "random" phrases, or just say one thing and leave.
Beginners.
Look, if you use sexually explicit phrases, you're just going to end up having conversations with disgusting people. If you think of "random" phrases and pop culture references, that's just no fun. And, of course, if you say something and leave, you never get to see the reaction of the person you're freaking out.
Whether you want to scare everybody with your psyche or use a tit-for-tat-esque method and want to scare off only the crazies, you may find these guidelines useful.
1. WRONG CONVERSATION
Talk as if you would normally to the person, but use the dialogue from a different conversation. Example:
Stranger: hi
You: and one more thing
Stranger: what?
You: when you get to the platform
Stranger: what platform?
You: turn right and then you see it
For more kicks, act as if you didn't realize you were talking to the wrong person. Apologize. Then do it again.
2. ACT LIKE A LITTLE KID
This one is just fun. When small children get on the keyboard and have a chance to talk to people, they sometimes have more fun with the keyboard than with the conversation. So, pretend you're having a blast with the keyboard. Type your own name and "hi" too much. Use lots of emoticons. Don't respond coherently to anything the other person says.
You: hi
Stranger: hi
You: my name is alex
Stranger: hi alex
You: :)
Stranger: okay
You: qwertyuiop[]\asdfghjkl;'zxcvbnm,./
Stranger: uh?
You: flower-----------{@
3. TELEMARKETER
This one needs no example. You want to sell something, but have to talk the person into it first. To do this, act overly sincere and focus a lot on the other person, then give them a copy-and-pasted description of why they should GIVE YOU MONEY. (I myself am collecting for the Poor Vegans who Can't Eat Normal Halloween Candy fund.) This is great if you like to watch people rage quit.
4. OBSESSOR*
Another character play, except you focus on only one thing. Your character cannot stop talking about it. Your character brings every topic of conversation back to this one thing. When you pick something to be obsessed about, make that thing as convoluted and specific as possible. Good examples would be:
the history of mummifying housepets
shapes of different types of soda bottles around the world
memorizing the names of obscure programming languages
If you don't know anything about the subject or are having trouble getting the other person to say something that will bring you back to the subject, make up information. ("You're from Georgia? In 2001, Atlanta of all the cities in the U.S.") If the other person tries to suggest alternatives, such as burying housepets, jump on them with murderous rage.
If the other person knows more about the subject than you do, rage quit.
5. THE JOHN FITZGERALD PAGE METHOD
Do you know who John Fitzgerald is? If not, click on the link. If not, continue onward.
Yeah. There is probably no better way to scare someone off than to act like this guy. I have personally never done this, because it would break my poor heart.
Start off by copy-pasting a highly indulgent description of yourself (or who you would like to be,) then continue the entire conversation by talking down to them and trying to get them to impress you. Make judgements about the other person extremely quickly, and be confident in them.** To show off how smart you are, type in correct grammar and use words such as "egregious" and "behoove." Or, you could go in a completely different direction and mispell everything! Ah, so many ways.
Any other methods or ideas? Feedback? Conversation snippets?
*I am Obsessor! Draw me a sketch!
**Do the opposite in real life.
Anyway, to those of you who haven't heard of Omegle, it's a site where they pair you up with a random stranger to chat. What do people use it for? If you're using it to make friends, you're doing something wrong. The correct way to use it is to freak people out.
So, how do people freak others out? They use sexually explicit material, spout off "random" phrases, or just say one thing and leave.
Beginners.
Look, if you use sexually explicit phrases, you're just going to end up having conversations with disgusting people. If you think of "random" phrases and pop culture references, that's just no fun. And, of course, if you say something and leave, you never get to see the reaction of the person you're freaking out.
Whether you want to scare everybody with your psyche or use a tit-for-tat-esque method and want to scare off only the crazies, you may find these guidelines useful.
1. WRONG CONVERSATION
Talk as if you would normally to the person, but use the dialogue from a different conversation. Example:
Stranger: hi
You: and one more thing
Stranger: what?
You: when you get to the platform
Stranger: what platform?
You: turn right and then you see it
For more kicks, act as if you didn't realize you were talking to the wrong person. Apologize. Then do it again.
2. ACT LIKE A LITTLE KID
This one is just fun. When small children get on the keyboard and have a chance to talk to people, they sometimes have more fun with the keyboard than with the conversation. So, pretend you're having a blast with the keyboard. Type your own name and "hi" too much. Use lots of emoticons. Don't respond coherently to anything the other person says.
You: hi
Stranger: hi
You: my name is alex
Stranger: hi alex
You: :)
Stranger: okay
You: qwertyuiop[]\asdfghjkl;'zxcvbnm,./
Stranger: uh?
You: flower-----------{@
3. TELEMARKETER
This one needs no example. You want to sell something, but have to talk the person into it first. To do this, act overly sincere and focus a lot on the other person, then give them a copy-and-pasted description of why they should GIVE YOU MONEY. (I myself am collecting for the Poor Vegans who Can't Eat Normal Halloween Candy fund.) This is great if you like to watch people rage quit.
4. OBSESSOR*
Another character play, except you focus on only one thing. Your character cannot stop talking about it. Your character brings every topic of conversation back to this one thing. When you pick something to be obsessed about, make that thing as convoluted and specific as possible. Good examples would be:
the history of mummifying housepets
shapes of different types of soda bottles around the world
memorizing the names of obscure programming languages
If you don't know anything about the subject or are having trouble getting the other person to say something that will bring you back to the subject, make up information. ("You're from Georgia? In 2001, Atlanta of all the cities in the U.S.") If the other person tries to suggest alternatives, such as burying housepets, jump on them with murderous rage.
If the other person knows more about the subject than you do, rage quit.
5. THE JOHN FITZGERALD PAGE METHOD
Do you know who John Fitzgerald is? If not, click on the link. If not, continue onward.
Yeah. There is probably no better way to scare someone off than to act like this guy. I have personally never done this, because it would break my poor heart.
Start off by copy-pasting a highly indulgent description of yourself (or who you would like to be,) then continue the entire conversation by talking down to them and trying to get them to impress you. Make judgements about the other person extremely quickly, and be confident in them.** To show off how smart you are, type in correct grammar and use words such as "egregious" and "behoove." Or, you could go in a completely different direction and mispell everything! Ah, so many ways.
Any other methods or ideas? Feedback? Conversation snippets?
*I am Obsessor! Draw me a sketch!
**Do the opposite in real life.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Games: Pen-and-paper sentence games
If you're with a large group of friends, one awesome thing to do is to play a pen-and-paper sentence game. There are no winners, no losers, and it gives a chance to showcase people's different ideas and writing abilities.
The way these games work is simple. Each person gets a pen and a piece of paper. Before playing, decide on a list of items to write about. There are a few different formats to choose from. I will give outlines for Who, What, Where, When, Why and The Dating Game.
Let's assume we're playing Who, What, Where, When, Why. The first item in Who, What, Where, When, Why is the "who," or the topic of a sentence. So, first, everybody sits in a circle. Then each person takes their pencil and paper, and writes the name of a person. It is important to not let the other players see what you are writing! When you are done, fold the paper over so that your writing is not showing, then pass it to your left. The person to your left should have the piece of paper that you wrote on, and you should have a piece of paper that the person to your right wrote on. Then, on this new sheet of paper, write down the "what," or what the person did. It should include a verb and act like a part of a sentence. When you're done, fold the paper over and pass it to the left. Get new piece of paper. Write down the "where," where the person was. Fold over. Pass to left. Then write the "when," when this happened. It can be a concrete time, or start with words such as "before, after, during," etc. Fold, pass to left. Write down the "why." This is the end of the sentence and usually starts with "because." Fold over, pass to left. Finally, have each person open up the piece of paper they have in their hands and read it out loud. The results are often hilarious.
Here is an example of a Who, What, Where, When, Why sentence:
Joan of Arc
accidentally called Domino's Pizza
on a box
while the Large Hadron Collider made electrons go weeee
because sharks cannot play ping-ping in a competitive manner.
I like this game. I like this game because the goal is to be as off-kilter as possible.
Anyway, I mentioned The Dating Game. The Dating Game has a different format than Who, What, Where, When, Why, (or W^5) and is better played with larger groups of people. The things you should write down, in order, are:
The boy's name
The girl's name
What the boy wore
What the girl wore
What the boy said at the beginning of the date
What the girl said at the beginning of the date
Where they went
What they did
What the boy said at the end of the date
What the girl said at the end of the date
Whoof! That's a lot of stuff. Example? Example. Here is an example of a condensed version of The Dating Game:
This is missing a couple things. It's missing the beginning-of-the-date part (because of some people who wanted to do karaoke) and I messed up the boy/girl order, but it's all good. Note the lines where the paper was folded- the goal is to get all of the statements on the same side of the paper. Also note the different pen colors and handwriting. You can learn about people this way- it makes a great icebreaker.
The Dating Game is also read in a different way from Who, What, Where, When, Why. Instead of reading straight off the paper, it has to be put into a coherent structure. You can designate this job to one person to make it easier. The Dating Game example above reads as:
"Zlata and Temeraire went on a date. Zlata wore a medieval dress, and Temeraire wore a Spiderman suit. They went inside a church of scientology, where they ate cheesecake. At the end of the date, Zlata said 'Ya know, when I was a little girl we lived outside Calcutta in a little wooden house' and Temeraire responded 'I AM A DIGLETT.'"
Hold on- the game showcases different ideas? Hot steamin' metadiscourse! That's what this blog is about!
Let's analyze the above responses, which all demonstrate common ways that people come up with ideas.
ZLATA: Zlata is a person who was in the room, playing a game. Picking a person in the room or someone that people know is a good way to make people give strange looks to that person.
TEMERAIRE: People love books. Book references to a favorite character are also common and fun to people who recognize the character.
A MEDIEVAL DRESS: Something that someone would not normally wear. It's boring to have them just wear a bikini, or "nothing."
A SPIDERMAN SUIT: Same thing.
INSIDE A CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY: Relating to current events. Some people are more entertained when they recognize references to the news. It makes us feel special.
EAT CHEESECAKE: Boring.
YA KNOW, WHEN I...: This both relates to something that happened earlier in the night, and is also an in-joke! Two in one.
I AM A DIGLETT: This is a perfect example of... darn it! I remember the term as 'apostrophe.' Any English people want to help me out on this? It's a word that means "a completely unexpected statement, usually in satire." In other words, randomness.
At this point, either your eyes are hazing out from reading words words words, or you are intrigued. How to make this game better? How can I make it more fun for everyone?
Oh no.
More words.
1. BE OVERLY SPECIFIC
Use adjectives. Use interruptions. Give too much information.
Looking back at the first example for W^5, the person given is Joan of Arc. How can we use these ideas to make Joan of Arc a more amusing response?
Why not tell us a bit more- "Joan of Arc, a woman not particularly known for her crabcake recipes..."
Point out the obvious- "Joan of Arc, a famous historical figure who fought for France and whose existance is debatable..."
Give her a title- "Joan of Arc: The Life, The Legend..."
Give too much information- "Joan of Arc, who was probably not into bestiality, maybe..."
Wow. Seriously. This makes everything so wonderful.
2. WRITE A FRIGGIN' NOVEL
This was inspired by a wonderful fiction writer. For each of her phrases, she would spend about two minutes coming up with something. The results were very, very entertaining.
We were given "accidentally called Domino's Pizza." I bet we can write a friggin' novel about that, yes?
"sat on the couch, staring at her feet. It had been a long day, and she was ready to close her eyes and drift off to sleep. She relaxed her shoulders and leaned back. Just as she was getting comfortable, a sharp pain in her stomach reminded her that she had not yet eaten dinner. Eating had just become another chore, since she had lost enjoyment in eating long ago. 'Uuungh,' she remarked, reaching towards a stale box of satay noodles. As she shifted, she felt her weight pushing down on an uncomfortable hard object. Upset, she searched under her behind to remove it. It was her cellphone, proudly broadcasting a little green phone next to the words 'Domino's Pizza.' It was ringing softly, as if it wanted her attention, but was too shy to ask. 'Crap,' she remarked."
Wow. Thanks for the idea, sunmoonandspoon.
Don't worry about gender agreement, the reader will usually fix it. You can also ask what gender the character is, it's legal.
3. PLAY A CHARACTER
It's exactly the same as the Halloween idea. Pick a character, give the character a voice, write through the character. Iambic pentameter, pirate, medical textbook writer, and the like.
We have "On a box." My roommate tells me this was inspired by Dr. Seuss. Writing like Dr. Seuss? That's a great idea! We can just expand that as is:
"On a box, with a fox, on a house, with a mouse..."
Just make up any kind of vernacular. It'll work.
4. KILL THE SENTENCE
Structure? Verbs? Who needs it! This idea comes from the hilarity of the boy's final sentence in GI JOE: Pork Chop Sandwiches.
We have "when the Large Hadron Collider made the electrons go weeee."
There is so much potential to kill the sentence with this one phrase that it is not even funny.
For example, just take a noun from the phrase, such as "Large Hadron Collider" or "electrons."
Or take a phraselet, like "electrons go weeee."
Or simply say "Hadron" or "weeee."
That will kill the sentence, yeah.
5. METADISCOURSE OR WORDINESS
Remember when I said 'metadiscourse' earlier? That was foreshadowing! It actually turns out to be funny when you also adopt a persona, such as a wordy essay writer or a stoned person.
Here are examples on the last part: "because sharks cannot play ping-ping in a competitive manner."
You get: "because, in fact, verily, in my opinion, the animals known as sharks, which live in the ocean, cannot play ping-pong, a game which, in my opinion, is enjoyable, in a competetive manner, in the way 'competitive is defined.' Yeah."
This truly is an awesome game and you should all play it.
Anyone want to share some particularly memorable responses to this game? Any more ideas? Tell us about it in the comments.
The way these games work is simple. Each person gets a pen and a piece of paper. Before playing, decide on a list of items to write about. There are a few different formats to choose from. I will give outlines for Who, What, Where, When, Why and The Dating Game.
Let's assume we're playing Who, What, Where, When, Why. The first item in Who, What, Where, When, Why is the "who," or the topic of a sentence. So, first, everybody sits in a circle. Then each person takes their pencil and paper, and writes the name of a person. It is important to not let the other players see what you are writing! When you are done, fold the paper over so that your writing is not showing, then pass it to your left. The person to your left should have the piece of paper that you wrote on, and you should have a piece of paper that the person to your right wrote on. Then, on this new sheet of paper, write down the "what," or what the person did. It should include a verb and act like a part of a sentence. When you're done, fold the paper over and pass it to the left. Get new piece of paper. Write down the "where," where the person was. Fold over. Pass to left. Then write the "when," when this happened. It can be a concrete time, or start with words such as "before, after, during," etc. Fold, pass to left. Write down the "why." This is the end of the sentence and usually starts with "because." Fold over, pass to left. Finally, have each person open up the piece of paper they have in their hands and read it out loud. The results are often hilarious.
Here is an example of a Who, What, Where, When, Why sentence:
Joan of Arc
accidentally called Domino's Pizza
on a box
while the Large Hadron Collider made electrons go weeee
because sharks cannot play ping-ping in a competitive manner.
I like this game. I like this game because the goal is to be as off-kilter as possible.
Anyway, I mentioned The Dating Game. The Dating Game has a different format than Who, What, Where, When, Why, (or W^5) and is better played with larger groups of people. The things you should write down, in order, are:
The boy's name
The girl's name
What the boy wore
What the girl wore
What the boy said at the beginning of the date
What the girl said at the beginning of the date
Where they went
What they did
What the boy said at the end of the date
What the girl said at the end of the date
Whoof! That's a lot of stuff. Example? Example. Here is an example of a condensed version of The Dating Game:
This is missing a couple things. It's missing the beginning-of-the-date part (because of some people who wanted to do karaoke) and I messed up the boy/girl order, but it's all good. Note the lines where the paper was folded- the goal is to get all of the statements on the same side of the paper. Also note the different pen colors and handwriting. You can learn about people this way- it makes a great icebreaker.
The Dating Game is also read in a different way from Who, What, Where, When, Why. Instead of reading straight off the paper, it has to be put into a coherent structure. You can designate this job to one person to make it easier. The Dating Game example above reads as:
"Zlata and Temeraire went on a date. Zlata wore a medieval dress, and Temeraire wore a Spiderman suit. They went inside a church of scientology, where they ate cheesecake. At the end of the date, Zlata said 'Ya know, when I was a little girl we lived outside Calcutta in a little wooden house' and Temeraire responded 'I AM A DIGLETT.'"
Hold on- the game showcases different ideas? Hot steamin' metadiscourse! That's what this blog is about!
Let's analyze the above responses, which all demonstrate common ways that people come up with ideas.
ZLATA: Zlata is a person who was in the room, playing a game. Picking a person in the room or someone that people know is a good way to make people give strange looks to that person.
TEMERAIRE: People love books. Book references to a favorite character are also common and fun to people who recognize the character.
A MEDIEVAL DRESS: Something that someone would not normally wear. It's boring to have them just wear a bikini, or "nothing."
A SPIDERMAN SUIT: Same thing.
INSIDE A CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY: Relating to current events. Some people are more entertained when they recognize references to the news. It makes us feel special.
EAT CHEESECAKE: Boring.
YA KNOW, WHEN I...: This both relates to something that happened earlier in the night, and is also an in-joke! Two in one.
I AM A DIGLETT: This is a perfect example of... darn it! I remember the term as 'apostrophe.' Any English people want to help me out on this? It's a word that means "a completely unexpected statement, usually in satire." In other words, randomness.
At this point, either your eyes are hazing out from reading words words words, or you are intrigued. How to make this game better? How can I make it more fun for everyone?
Oh no.
More words.
1. BE OVERLY SPECIFIC
Use adjectives. Use interruptions. Give too much information.
Looking back at the first example for W^5, the person given is Joan of Arc. How can we use these ideas to make Joan of Arc a more amusing response?
Why not tell us a bit more- "Joan of Arc, a woman not particularly known for her crabcake recipes..."
Point out the obvious- "Joan of Arc, a famous historical figure who fought for France and whose existance is debatable..."
Give her a title- "Joan of Arc: The Life, The Legend..."
Give too much information- "Joan of Arc, who was probably not into bestiality, maybe..."
Wow. Seriously. This makes everything so wonderful.
2. WRITE A FRIGGIN' NOVEL
This was inspired by a wonderful fiction writer. For each of her phrases, she would spend about two minutes coming up with something. The results were very, very entertaining.
We were given "accidentally called Domino's Pizza." I bet we can write a friggin' novel about that, yes?
"sat on the couch, staring at her feet. It had been a long day, and she was ready to close her eyes and drift off to sleep. She relaxed her shoulders and leaned back. Just as she was getting comfortable, a sharp pain in her stomach reminded her that she had not yet eaten dinner. Eating had just become another chore, since she had lost enjoyment in eating long ago. 'Uuungh,' she remarked, reaching towards a stale box of satay noodles. As she shifted, she felt her weight pushing down on an uncomfortable hard object. Upset, she searched under her behind to remove it. It was her cellphone, proudly broadcasting a little green phone next to the words 'Domino's Pizza.' It was ringing softly, as if it wanted her attention, but was too shy to ask. 'Crap,' she remarked."
Wow. Thanks for the idea, sunmoonandspoon.
Don't worry about gender agreement, the reader will usually fix it. You can also ask what gender the character is, it's legal.
3. PLAY A CHARACTER
It's exactly the same as the Halloween idea. Pick a character, give the character a voice, write through the character. Iambic pentameter, pirate, medical textbook writer, and the like.
We have "On a box." My roommate tells me this was inspired by Dr. Seuss. Writing like Dr. Seuss? That's a great idea! We can just expand that as is:
"On a box, with a fox, on a house, with a mouse..."
Just make up any kind of vernacular. It'll work.
4. KILL THE SENTENCE
Structure? Verbs? Who needs it! This idea comes from the hilarity of the boy's final sentence in GI JOE: Pork Chop Sandwiches.
We have "when the Large Hadron Collider made the electrons go weeee."
There is so much potential to kill the sentence with this one phrase that it is not even funny.
For example, just take a noun from the phrase, such as "Large Hadron Collider" or "electrons."
Or take a phraselet, like "electrons go weeee."
Or simply say "Hadron" or "weeee."
That will kill the sentence, yeah.
5. METADISCOURSE OR WORDINESS
Remember when I said 'metadiscourse' earlier? That was foreshadowing! It actually turns out to be funny when you also adopt a persona, such as a wordy essay writer or a stoned person.
Here are examples on the last part: "because sharks cannot play ping-ping in a competitive manner."
You get: "because, in fact, verily, in my opinion, the animals known as sharks, which live in the ocean, cannot play ping-pong, a game which, in my opinion, is enjoyable, in a competetive manner, in the way 'competitive is defined.' Yeah."
This truly is an awesome game and you should all play it.
Anyone want to share some particularly memorable responses to this game? Any more ideas? Tell us about it in the comments.
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