Ugh. For some reason, I don't feel like writing, or doing anything today. I'm even posting this early to get some sleep. So, readers, consider this question:
Does forbidding sex before marriage destroy the sanctity of marriage?
If you can only have sex with someone after you marry them, is that equating marriage to sex? Will more people get married for the purpose of sex instead of their love for each other?
Or is sex the only point of marriage? Should the fact that the couple has sex with no one else define the relationship?
Is it only the happy floaty idealists who think love should be a major component of a romantic relationship? Do you want to argue what reality is and is not? (Speaking of that, I'll discuss argumentative techniques next week.)
Please discuss. Pleeeeease.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Friday, October 30, 2009
I LOVE HALLOWEEEEEEEN
Dear blog.
Today, I ran around dressed as a giant recycling bin, politely asking drunk people if they had anything to recycle. You'd be surprised how many drunk people don't know the difference between paper and plastic recycling.
Anyway, since it's Halloween, and Halloween is about fun, we can discuss some ideas for getting the most mileage possible out of your Halloween. Halloween is my favorite holiday. Halloween!
1. BE IN A "FUN" MINDSET, BE ENERGETIC
This one is obvious, but many people choose to play a more serious character such as a spy. If you choose to do something like this, make sure the mood your costume takes is the mood you want other people to be in. If you are a serious non-verbal ninja, people may not want to party and dance in a circle around you.
Personally, I like to go full-out eccentric. If you have a different preference, use yours.
It's nice to do something other than straight-up humor sometimes. However, for maximum effect, do something that makes you look ridiculous. People will usually laugh with you if your costume restricts movement or moves in an entertaining way.
And spies? If we ask you a straight, serious question, don't keep dodging the question after we get annoyed.
2. DON'T JUDGE
It's a bit of a party-killer to come up to someone and tell them their costume sucks. It's also just as bad to point out that they have a strap loose or something broke. So, there may be people who disagree with me, but I have two main reasons for suggesting it. First, the person is probably aware of their own costume and/or has had people telling them about this all night. Second, it shows a borderline OCD or a desire to judge everyone's costume instead of enjoying it. Focus on the fun, not on costume quality. Halloween should be fun for everyone. Yes?
There are times when it is polite to do this. The only exception is if the mistake is something that could be embarrassing or dangerous if it goes unsolved, such as undergarments showing or one's tail being on fire.
3. HAVE A MEMORABLE IDENTIFIER
Make up a name! Make up a song! Make up a pun!
With this one, try to relate your act to the scope of people- if you are in a very large group of people and talk to many different people who you see only a couple of times, this can be important. If you are in a small group of people, they may not enjoy the repetition or the focus on your costume.
This applies to other people's costumes. Example: Someone tonight was dressed up as Chairman Mao, so I started making the communist cat puns from Cat and Girl as they ran away from me.
(Chairman Meow, Fide Cats-tro, Benito Mouse-olini... etc.)
4. TRICK OR TREAT...
No, you are not too old. No, it is not creepy. If you're worried, just act very playful and friendly. TRICK OR TREAT- unless you are vegan and all of the candy has milk in it, and the vegan candy that you ordered online was delivered at a horrible time and is arriving after Halloween.*
5. VOLUNTEER FOR OR RUN EVENTS
Many groups such as homeless shelters, programs for children with disabilities, and elementary schools have Halloween events. Some groups rely heavily on volunteers, so they probably will have contact information on the web. If you find the name of a group you want to get involved with, call them beforehand (around 2 weeks before Halloween) and ask if they have events planned or need help.
6. FOCUS ON OTHERS
There are tons of people who dress up on Halloween, and many of them have awesome costumes. Don't just focus on your costume. If someone else's costume is noteworthy, tell them about it. Reward hard work, because that person will probably go back next Halloween and come up with another awesome costume.
This doesn't mean you can't act extroverted-ly wacky. Use your energy in a way that entertains other people. Don't be ashamed to show off your costume if the way you do it is funny or exciting (or an interesting idea!) If your main purpose is to entertain everyone else, you'll probably end up having a better time. A little self-ridicule is good, especially on Halloween.
Ok, does anyone have any better ideas? Give me a break, it's Halloween.
*this is a purely hypothetical situation
Today, I ran around dressed as a giant recycling bin, politely asking drunk people if they had anything to recycle. You'd be surprised how many drunk people don't know the difference between paper and plastic recycling.
Anyway, since it's Halloween, and Halloween is about fun, we can discuss some ideas for getting the most mileage possible out of your Halloween. Halloween is my favorite holiday. Halloween!
1. BE IN A "FUN" MINDSET, BE ENERGETIC
This one is obvious, but many people choose to play a more serious character such as a spy. If you choose to do something like this, make sure the mood your costume takes is the mood you want other people to be in. If you are a serious non-verbal ninja, people may not want to party and dance in a circle around you.
Personally, I like to go full-out eccentric. If you have a different preference, use yours.
It's nice to do something other than straight-up humor sometimes. However, for maximum effect, do something that makes you look ridiculous. People will usually laugh with you if your costume restricts movement or moves in an entertaining way.
And spies? If we ask you a straight, serious question, don't keep dodging the question after we get annoyed.
2. DON'T JUDGE
It's a bit of a party-killer to come up to someone and tell them their costume sucks. It's also just as bad to point out that they have a strap loose or something broke. So, there may be people who disagree with me, but I have two main reasons for suggesting it. First, the person is probably aware of their own costume and/or has had people telling them about this all night. Second, it shows a borderline OCD or a desire to judge everyone's costume instead of enjoying it. Focus on the fun, not on costume quality. Halloween should be fun for everyone. Yes?
There are times when it is polite to do this. The only exception is if the mistake is something that could be embarrassing or dangerous if it goes unsolved, such as undergarments showing or one's tail being on fire.
3. HAVE A MEMORABLE IDENTIFIER
Make up a name! Make up a song! Make up a pun!
With this one, try to relate your act to the scope of people- if you are in a very large group of people and talk to many different people who you see only a couple of times, this can be important. If you are in a small group of people, they may not enjoy the repetition or the focus on your costume.
This applies to other people's costumes. Example: Someone tonight was dressed up as Chairman Mao, so I started making the communist cat puns from Cat and Girl as they ran away from me.
(Chairman Meow, Fide Cats-tro, Benito Mouse-olini... etc.)
4. TRICK OR TREAT...
No, you are not too old. No, it is not creepy. If you're worried, just act very playful and friendly. TRICK OR TREAT- unless you are vegan and all of the candy has milk in it, and the vegan candy that you ordered online was delivered at a horrible time and is arriving after Halloween.*
5. VOLUNTEER FOR OR RUN EVENTS
Many groups such as homeless shelters, programs for children with disabilities, and elementary schools have Halloween events. Some groups rely heavily on volunteers, so they probably will have contact information on the web. If you find the name of a group you want to get involved with, call them beforehand (around 2 weeks before Halloween) and ask if they have events planned or need help.
6. FOCUS ON OTHERS
There are tons of people who dress up on Halloween, and many of them have awesome costumes. Don't just focus on your costume. If someone else's costume is noteworthy, tell them about it. Reward hard work, because that person will probably go back next Halloween and come up with another awesome costume.
This doesn't mean you can't act extroverted-ly wacky. Use your energy in a way that entertains other people. Don't be ashamed to show off your costume if the way you do it is funny or exciting (or an interesting idea!) If your main purpose is to entertain everyone else, you'll probably end up having a better time. A little self-ridicule is good, especially on Halloween.
Ok, does anyone have any better ideas? Give me a break, it's Halloween.
*this is a purely hypothetical situation
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Cells- Units of Life!
A couple weeks ago, in Science Bus- oh, what is Science Bus? It's a program where college students go to elementary schools with a lesson plan and some stuff and teach them about science. Yesterday was owl pellet day.
I have never seen anyone so excited about owl pellets. Everyone wanted to bring the bones home.
Anyway, I was talking to a kid about cladograms and the classifications of animals. They had all sorts of pictures of animals in front of them, and were trying to find characteristics that were similar in the animals. They had a fish, a bird, a monkey, and a human.
"They all have eyes!" one yelled.
"Well, they all have eyes. Is that going to be useful in designing a cladogram? I don't think so, because you want to find characteristics in a group that one has and the others don't," I replied.
"Well, is there an animal that doesn't have eyes?"
And, because I am an idiot who doesn't know which characteristics denote the Animalia kingdom, I said "A cell."
"Whoa, cells are animals?"
"Yup." I really have to apologize to him. Come on, could I have said a jellyfish? A sponge? I did mention worms afterwards. Jeez.
Then, using a spooky Halloween voice, I told him "Cells are in your body. Your whole body is made up of cells. You are not just one living thing, but a large collection of living things."
"Whoaaaaaaa..." he said.
Since I mentioned normal microbiota, I've been more and more aware of how I am not just a single living organism, but a large collection of billions upon billions of living organisms. Everything I know and feel is made possible by the interactions between tiny, tiny little living things which adapted to form the complex functions I have. This is the result of evolution on a time period that my poor brain cannot handle, in numbers my brain cannot envision, and it is less than the number of cells in my body. And here I am, typing at a computer and not letting them sleep.
If you want to accept an award and start your speech with "I'd like to thank my cells..." so be it.
Next to the astonishing number of cells and the interaction they do to keep me alive as a conscious entity, their very life and existence amazes me. It's just that we have no idea what it feels like to be a cell, and may never find out. Do we know that these cells perform functions and nothing else? By labelling what they both do as "life," are we giving the same name to two different functions? Is a life with consciousness worth more than a life with consciousness? Is one possible without another?
And, if you can easily answer that question because you believe in souls, why do we have to define things as having souls and not having souls? Isn't it possible just to appreciate the sanctity of life?
Heck, if attributing a soul to me but not my cells places my "life" at a greater value than theirs, I'd rather not have one. Even if I have consciousness and they don't, that's only a benefit my life has that theirs does not. I respect you, cells.
I just asked like five questions and then said something mildly provocative. Respond.
I have never seen anyone so excited about owl pellets. Everyone wanted to bring the bones home.
Anyway, I was talking to a kid about cladograms and the classifications of animals. They had all sorts of pictures of animals in front of them, and were trying to find characteristics that were similar in the animals. They had a fish, a bird, a monkey, and a human.
"They all have eyes!" one yelled.
"Well, they all have eyes. Is that going to be useful in designing a cladogram? I don't think so, because you want to find characteristics in a group that one has and the others don't," I replied.
"Well, is there an animal that doesn't have eyes?"
And, because I am an idiot who doesn't know which characteristics denote the Animalia kingdom, I said "A cell."
"Whoa, cells are animals?"
"Yup." I really have to apologize to him. Come on, could I have said a jellyfish? A sponge? I did mention worms afterwards. Jeez.
Then, using a spooky Halloween voice, I told him "Cells are in your body. Your whole body is made up of cells. You are not just one living thing, but a large collection of living things."
"Whoaaaaaaa..." he said.
Since I mentioned normal microbiota, I've been more and more aware of how I am not just a single living organism, but a large collection of billions upon billions of living organisms. Everything I know and feel is made possible by the interactions between tiny, tiny little living things which adapted to form the complex functions I have. This is the result of evolution on a time period that my poor brain cannot handle, in numbers my brain cannot envision, and it is less than the number of cells in my body. And here I am, typing at a computer and not letting them sleep.
If you want to accept an award and start your speech with "I'd like to thank my cells..." so be it.
Next to the astonishing number of cells and the interaction they do to keep me alive as a conscious entity, their very life and existence amazes me. It's just that we have no idea what it feels like to be a cell, and may never find out. Do we know that these cells perform functions and nothing else? By labelling what they both do as "life," are we giving the same name to two different functions? Is a life with consciousness worth more than a life with consciousness? Is one possible without another?
And, if you can easily answer that question because you believe in souls, why do we have to define things as having souls and not having souls? Isn't it possible just to appreciate the sanctity of life?
Heck, if attributing a soul to me but not my cells places my "life" at a greater value than theirs, I'd rather not have one. Even if I have consciousness and they don't, that's only a benefit my life has that theirs does not. I respect you, cells.
I just asked like five questions and then said something mildly provocative. Respond.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
How to Speak in Iambic Pentameter
I figured I would write a post because
This topic has been brought up quite a lot.
Pentameter I speak, iambic too,
Quite easily, and close to normal speech.
A couple friends have asked me for some tips
So here it is, I'll tell you one more time.
In terms of basic tips, there's only one:
Internalize the rhythm. That is all.
da DUM da DUM da DUM da DUM da DUM
When THINking, HOLD on EV'ry SEcond BEAT
AlMOST as IF to GIVE the PHRASE a SWING
We PROcess RHYthms DIFF'rentLY than WORDS
And RHYthm IS imPORtant IN this CASE.
So try it 'til you feel the rhythm here.
Without this, speech can get quite difficult.
But once you have the rhythm in your mind
And think it naturally, it's not so hard.
It's easier to pick words on their sound
Than counting all your fingers before speech.
It's fun to practice, do at parties too
Or not tell anybody, then just wait
Until someone does realize what you did.
It takes a little effort more to rhyme
Or even to reach Shakespeare's eloquence.
Be patient with yourself, it's fun to try.
So- Comments? Notes? Reactions? Tales? Ideas?
This topic has been brought up quite a lot.
Pentameter I speak, iambic too,
Quite easily, and close to normal speech.
A couple friends have asked me for some tips
So here it is, I'll tell you one more time.
In terms of basic tips, there's only one:
Internalize the rhythm. That is all.
da DUM da DUM da DUM da DUM da DUM
When THINking, HOLD on EV'ry SEcond BEAT
AlMOST as IF to GIVE the PHRASE a SWING
We PROcess RHYthms DIFF'rentLY than WORDS
And RHYthm IS imPORtant IN this CASE.
So try it 'til you feel the rhythm here.
Without this, speech can get quite difficult.
But once you have the rhythm in your mind
And think it naturally, it's not so hard.
It's easier to pick words on their sound
Than counting all your fingers before speech.
It's fun to practice, do at parties too
Or not tell anybody, then just wait
Until someone does realize what you did.
It takes a little effort more to rhyme
Or even to reach Shakespeare's eloquence.
Be patient with yourself, it's fun to try.
So- Comments? Notes? Reactions? Tales? Ideas?
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Phasal Music
There's this game my roommate and I like to play with each other. She's a big indie rock fan, and I love metal and industrial punk. Whenever she plays indie, I have to start blasting metal from my speakers. And whenever I'm at my computer headbanging, she has to start playing a sugary-sweet indie tune from her speakers. We call it the indie-metal battle.
The coolest part of this game, though, is when we both have the same song- then we both start playing it at the same time. It usually ends up slightly out of phase with itself. When that happens, it's the coolest part of the song. It sounds like an echo.
When you play a song slightly out of phase with itself, from two different speakers, it starts to sound different depending on where you stand in the room. It's a very cool effect, and if you have two speakers in the room, it's an easy thing to try.
A famous example of this is the experimental song Come Out by Steve Reich. This song focuses on the phrase "come out to show them" (there's a huge backstory,) which starts off as one track, but is really 16 or so different tracks playing out of phase with each other. By the middle of the song, the original phrase is completely unintelligible and it just becomes a rhythmic phrase that changes extremely slowly. Unless you listen closely, you can barely hear the phrase changing.
It's a really cool song. If you play it from two different speakers, it starts to sound different depending on where you stand in the room. You don't even have to play it out of phase with itself.
But if you do.... Hmmm.
Any ideas, experience, or comments on playing phasal music?
The coolest part of this game, though, is when we both have the same song- then we both start playing it at the same time. It usually ends up slightly out of phase with itself. When that happens, it's the coolest part of the song. It sounds like an echo.
When you play a song slightly out of phase with itself, from two different speakers, it starts to sound different depending on where you stand in the room. It's a very cool effect, and if you have two speakers in the room, it's an easy thing to try.
A famous example of this is the experimental song Come Out by Steve Reich. This song focuses on the phrase "come out to show them" (there's a huge backstory,) which starts off as one track, but is really 16 or so different tracks playing out of phase with each other. By the middle of the song, the original phrase is completely unintelligible and it just becomes a rhythmic phrase that changes extremely slowly. Unless you listen closely, you can barely hear the phrase changing.
It's a really cool song. If you play it from two different speakers, it starts to sound different depending on where you stand in the room. You don't even have to play it out of phase with itself.
But if you do.... Hmmm.
Any ideas, experience, or comments on playing phasal music?
I Love You, Brain
Quoth Ari: "Your mind must be a really interesting place, Liz."
He's right. It's very interesting for me. Sorry for the non-idea post, but I just had an awesome "conversation" I had with my brain while walking on the way to a concert. Much of the repetition has been cut out.
(NOTE: There is actually not a dialogue between me and my brain as separate entities. That's just the way I think.)
Liz: You know what? Since they don't want me to leave my purse in the instrument room, and I don't have a concert-appropriate purse, I'll just take the essentials and stick them in my shoes.
Liz: So, the smaller objects are my tuner and keys. Hah! Perfect! They both fit in my shoes.
Liz: In one shoe are keys, and in the other are not keys!
Liz's Brain: That is so completely incorrect.
Liz: Oh, right, because 'not keys' includes everything that is not keys.
Liz's Brain: Exactly.
Liz: Are there an infinite number of things that are not keys?
Liz's Brain: There are a finite number of objects in the world.
Liz: But it's so much that it seems like infinity...
*pause*
Liz: What if we decided to define 'keys' as a string of characters? Then there might be enough permutations of letters in order to reach infinity.
Liz's Brain: Uh... that sounds okay, but I can't think of a way to prove that there are actually an infinite number of permutations of letters.
*pause*
Liz: Well... if you include numbers as everything in the set of not keys...
Liz's Brain: That would make sense. Now the set of everything that is not keys goes to infinity.
Liz: I'm going to try and imagine everything in the entire world now.
Liz's Brain: Stop that.
Liz: Okay, I'm going to sing the Gloria from Haydn's last mass.
Liz's Brain: Make sure no one else is around.
*concert*
Liz's Brain, while writing blog post: OH! You can prove that there are an infinite number of permutations of letters because there are an infinite number of integers!
Liz: RIIIIIIGHT
I love you, brain. I love you so much.
What are keys and what is not keys? Discuss.
He's right. It's very interesting for me. Sorry for the non-idea post, but I just had an awesome "conversation" I had with my brain while walking on the way to a concert. Much of the repetition has been cut out.
(NOTE: There is actually not a dialogue between me and my brain as separate entities. That's just the way I think.)
Liz: You know what? Since they don't want me to leave my purse in the instrument room, and I don't have a concert-appropriate purse, I'll just take the essentials and stick them in my shoes.
Liz: So, the smaller objects are my tuner and keys. Hah! Perfect! They both fit in my shoes.
Liz: In one shoe are keys, and in the other are not keys!
Liz's Brain: That is so completely incorrect.
Liz: Oh, right, because 'not keys' includes everything that is not keys.
Liz's Brain: Exactly.
Liz: Are there an infinite number of things that are not keys?
Liz's Brain: There are a finite number of objects in the world.
Liz: But it's so much that it seems like infinity...
*pause*
Liz: What if we decided to define 'keys' as a string of characters? Then there might be enough permutations of letters in order to reach infinity.
Liz's Brain: Uh... that sounds okay, but I can't think of a way to prove that there are actually an infinite number of permutations of letters.
*pause*
Liz: Well... if you include numbers as everything in the set of not keys...
Liz's Brain: That would make sense. Now the set of everything that is not keys goes to infinity.
Liz: I'm going to try and imagine everything in the entire world now.
Liz's Brain: Stop that.
Liz: Okay, I'm going to sing the Gloria from Haydn's last mass.
Liz's Brain: Make sure no one else is around.
*concert*
Liz's Brain, while writing blog post: OH! You can prove that there are an infinite number of permutations of letters because there are an infinite number of integers!
Liz: RIIIIIIGHT
I love you, brain. I love you so much.
What are keys and what is not keys? Discuss.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Creating Names
Have any of you tried to name your normal microbiota yet?
No?
Oftentimes, we have to come up with an original name for something, such as the main character in an RPG. Sometimes we fail badly. The problem is, picking a name can be extremely important, especially if you choose a name that makes you laugh every time you think of it.
Here are some strategies- and feel free to suggest your own- for naming things:
1. EXTREMES
If you give someone an incredibly short name, it's funny. If you give someone an incredibly long name, it's funny. If you give someone an incredibly short name and tell people it's pronounced as some 20-syllable phrase, it's even better. A character's name can be too wacky or too normal, completely go against the character or validate the character to an extreme, and make large claims about the character or completely torture it.
Using objects in the name is also effective.
Example:
book. It's not even capitalized. Man.
Count Fabulous. He's a pink Plainstrider.
2. CHOOSE RHYTHM FIRST
If you want to go pro and start making up your own names for the extra tinge of uniqueness, go ahead. A good way to start is to pick the rhythm you want the name to have first- how many syllables do you want? Where should the stress land? Get a good idea in your head of how the name should sound, then start filling it out.
Example: Ustifilius. Utacratia. Fuitlack. Acustamondra.
One of these names is much different from the others, and that's because it was created by a different person by the other three. Look at the rhythms:
Ust-i-FIL-i-us
U-ta-CRA-tia
FWEET-lack
A-CUS-ta-MON-dra
If you guessed Fuitlack as the odd one out, you are right. The person who came up with that name wanted to stress the first syllable and have a shorter name, while the other person wanted to have a longer name with stress in the middle.
Actually, of the three that are similar, I made one and my best friend made two of them. You can tell who wrote what by looking at the rhythms too, actually. (Syllables.)
(Another hint: Start with U. It's just easier.)
3. GET A NAMING DICTIONARY
By having a naming dictionary, you have not only a huge list of possible names for things that you need many different names for (like normal microbiota, or Sims,) but also a basis for creating newer, crazier names over them. I'm not advertising- these are actually very, very useful to flip through whenever you need to name something and have no ideas.
If possible, get one of the older naming dictionaries, from the time when people named their kids Cleophus and Paxton.
In fact, if you search for strange names on Google, you can find quite a few options.
4. ENLIST ANOTHER PERSON
When another person is naming something with you, everything becomes funnier. It's best if you both brainstorm for a name. Then, pick the name that has you and the other person laughing or saying "YES! IT'S PERFECT!" for five minutes. One person you can brainstorm with is my roommate, Jessica, who wanted me to include her in a post.
There you go.
Any cool ideas for names?
No?
Oftentimes, we have to come up with an original name for something, such as the main character in an RPG. Sometimes we fail badly. The problem is, picking a name can be extremely important, especially if you choose a name that makes you laugh every time you think of it.
Here are some strategies- and feel free to suggest your own- for naming things:
1. EXTREMES
If you give someone an incredibly short name, it's funny. If you give someone an incredibly long name, it's funny. If you give someone an incredibly short name and tell people it's pronounced as some 20-syllable phrase, it's even better. A character's name can be too wacky or too normal, completely go against the character or validate the character to an extreme, and make large claims about the character or completely torture it.
Using objects in the name is also effective.
Example:
book. It's not even capitalized. Man.
Count Fabulous. He's a pink Plainstrider.
2. CHOOSE RHYTHM FIRST
If you want to go pro and start making up your own names for the extra tinge of uniqueness, go ahead. A good way to start is to pick the rhythm you want the name to have first- how many syllables do you want? Where should the stress land? Get a good idea in your head of how the name should sound, then start filling it out.
Example: Ustifilius. Utacratia. Fuitlack. Acustamondra.
One of these names is much different from the others, and that's because it was created by a different person by the other three. Look at the rhythms:
Ust-i-FIL-i-us
U-ta-CRA-tia
FWEET-lack
A-CUS-ta-MON-dra
If you guessed Fuitlack as the odd one out, you are right. The person who came up with that name wanted to stress the first syllable and have a shorter name, while the other person wanted to have a longer name with stress in the middle.
Actually, of the three that are similar, I made one and my best friend made two of them. You can tell who wrote what by looking at the rhythms too, actually. (Syllables.)
(Another hint: Start with U. It's just easier.)
3. GET A NAMING DICTIONARY
By having a naming dictionary, you have not only a huge list of possible names for things that you need many different names for (like normal microbiota, or Sims,) but also a basis for creating newer, crazier names over them. I'm not advertising- these are actually very, very useful to flip through whenever you need to name something and have no ideas.
If possible, get one of the older naming dictionaries, from the time when people named their kids Cleophus and Paxton.
In fact, if you search for strange names on Google, you can find quite a few options.
4. ENLIST ANOTHER PERSON
When another person is naming something with you, everything becomes funnier. It's best if you both brainstorm for a name. Then, pick the name that has you and the other person laughing or saying "YES! IT'S PERFECT!" for five minutes. One person you can brainstorm with is my roommate, Jessica, who wanted me to include her in a post.
There you go.
Any cool ideas for names?
Say Hello to my Little Friends
You are not alone. Look at your hand. You have billions of friends on your hand.
These are called normal microbiota, and they are harmless organisms which colonize all the space they can find on our bodies. It's a great evolutionary relationship- we provide warmth and moisture, they colonize our body so that disease microbes can't. Basically, these microbes are a wonderful form of protection against disease germs, simply by being there. Think Times Square. In order to infect a body, disease germs must first find an entrance, and that's harder to do with a whole bunch of normal microbiota running around. (Especially if these normal microbiota stand at the top of the stairs.)
Just a bit of political correctness: these are microbes, not germs. To call these microbes germs would be like calling a Pakistani Indian. However, unlike 'Indian,' 'germs' also has negative connotations, and I'm sure your little microbiota would appreciate you calling them by a positive name. They are helping you. It's the best thing to do in order to appreciate them, unless you want to have a bit of fun and try to name them all.
Does washing our hands kill the little guys? Yes, but the microbes on our arms are able to multiply and completely cover our hands right after they are washed. Your hands are never completely microbe-free, and it could be dangerous if they were. Washing your hands may be the most important medical discovery in human history, but it also removes our protective layer of microbes which help to block out disease microbes.
That's why it's important to not overwash hands- overwashing can lead to degradation of normal microbiota, making it easier for disease microbes to cultivate.
"I'm talking to my normal microbiota" is also a great thing to say to someone who catches you talking to yourself.
Thoughts or comments on normal microbiota? On microbe feelings? On Times Square?
These are called normal microbiota, and they are harmless organisms which colonize all the space they can find on our bodies. It's a great evolutionary relationship- we provide warmth and moisture, they colonize our body so that disease microbes can't. Basically, these microbes are a wonderful form of protection against disease germs, simply by being there. Think Times Square. In order to infect a body, disease germs must first find an entrance, and that's harder to do with a whole bunch of normal microbiota running around. (Especially if these normal microbiota stand at the top of the stairs.)
Just a bit of political correctness: these are microbes, not germs. To call these microbes germs would be like calling a Pakistani Indian. However, unlike 'Indian,' 'germs' also has negative connotations, and I'm sure your little microbiota would appreciate you calling them by a positive name. They are helping you. It's the best thing to do in order to appreciate them, unless you want to have a bit of fun and try to name them all.
Does washing our hands kill the little guys? Yes, but the microbes on our arms are able to multiply and completely cover our hands right after they are washed. Your hands are never completely microbe-free, and it could be dangerous if they were. Washing your hands may be the most important medical discovery in human history, but it also removes our protective layer of microbes which help to block out disease microbes.
That's why it's important to not overwash hands- overwashing can lead to degradation of normal microbiota, making it easier for disease microbes to cultivate.
"I'm talking to my normal microbiota" is also a great thing to say to someone who catches you talking to yourself.
Thoughts or comments on normal microbiota? On microbe feelings? On Times Square?
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Things to Say to Strangers on Omegle
First off: There will not be a Thursday post. I have class from 8 AM to 10 PM on Wednesday. There will NEVER be a Thursday post (or a Tuesday post- I have class from 8 AM to 9:30 PM on Monday. Dang overachievers!) I'm putting the update schedule up now.
Anyway, to those of you who haven't heard of Omegle, it's a site where they pair you up with a random stranger to chat. What do people use it for? If you're using it to make friends, you're doing something wrong. The correct way to use it is to freak people out.
So, how do people freak others out? They use sexually explicit material, spout off "random" phrases, or just say one thing and leave.
Beginners.
Look, if you use sexually explicit phrases, you're just going to end up having conversations with disgusting people. If you think of "random" phrases and pop culture references, that's just no fun. And, of course, if you say something and leave, you never get to see the reaction of the person you're freaking out.
Whether you want to scare everybody with your psyche or use a tit-for-tat-esque method and want to scare off only the crazies, you may find these guidelines useful.
1. WRONG CONVERSATION
Talk as if you would normally to the person, but use the dialogue from a different conversation. Example:
Stranger: hi
You: and one more thing
Stranger: what?
You: when you get to the platform
Stranger: what platform?
You: turn right and then you see it
For more kicks, act as if you didn't realize you were talking to the wrong person. Apologize. Then do it again.
2. ACT LIKE A LITTLE KID
This one is just fun. When small children get on the keyboard and have a chance to talk to people, they sometimes have more fun with the keyboard than with the conversation. So, pretend you're having a blast with the keyboard. Type your own name and "hi" too much. Use lots of emoticons. Don't respond coherently to anything the other person says.
You: hi
Stranger: hi
You: my name is alex
Stranger: hi alex
You: :)
Stranger: okay
You: qwertyuiop[]\asdfghjkl;'zxcvbnm,./
Stranger: uh?
You: flower-----------{@
3. TELEMARKETER
This one needs no example. You want to sell something, but have to talk the person into it first. To do this, act overly sincere and focus a lot on the other person, then give them a copy-and-pasted description of why they should GIVE YOU MONEY. (I myself am collecting for the Poor Vegans who Can't Eat Normal Halloween Candy fund.) This is great if you like to watch people rage quit.
4. OBSESSOR*
Another character play, except you focus on only one thing. Your character cannot stop talking about it. Your character brings every topic of conversation back to this one thing. When you pick something to be obsessed about, make that thing as convoluted and specific as possible. Good examples would be:
the history of mummifying housepets
shapes of different types of soda bottles around the world
memorizing the names of obscure programming languages
If you don't know anything about the subject or are having trouble getting the other person to say something that will bring you back to the subject, make up information. ("You're from Georgia? In 2001, Atlanta of all the cities in the U.S.") If the other person tries to suggest alternatives, such as burying housepets, jump on them with murderous rage.
If the other person knows more about the subject than you do, rage quit.
5. THE JOHN FITZGERALD PAGE METHOD
Do you know who John Fitzgerald is? If not, click on the link. If not, continue onward.
Yeah. There is probably no better way to scare someone off than to act like this guy. I have personally never done this, because it would break my poor heart.
Start off by copy-pasting a highly indulgent description of yourself (or who you would like to be,) then continue the entire conversation by talking down to them and trying to get them to impress you. Make judgements about the other person extremely quickly, and be confident in them.** To show off how smart you are, type in correct grammar and use words such as "egregious" and "behoove." Or, you could go in a completely different direction and mispell everything! Ah, so many ways.
Any other methods or ideas? Feedback? Conversation snippets?
*I am Obsessor! Draw me a sketch!
**Do the opposite in real life.
Anyway, to those of you who haven't heard of Omegle, it's a site where they pair you up with a random stranger to chat. What do people use it for? If you're using it to make friends, you're doing something wrong. The correct way to use it is to freak people out.
So, how do people freak others out? They use sexually explicit material, spout off "random" phrases, or just say one thing and leave.
Beginners.
Look, if you use sexually explicit phrases, you're just going to end up having conversations with disgusting people. If you think of "random" phrases and pop culture references, that's just no fun. And, of course, if you say something and leave, you never get to see the reaction of the person you're freaking out.
Whether you want to scare everybody with your psyche or use a tit-for-tat-esque method and want to scare off only the crazies, you may find these guidelines useful.
1. WRONG CONVERSATION
Talk as if you would normally to the person, but use the dialogue from a different conversation. Example:
Stranger: hi
You: and one more thing
Stranger: what?
You: when you get to the platform
Stranger: what platform?
You: turn right and then you see it
For more kicks, act as if you didn't realize you were talking to the wrong person. Apologize. Then do it again.
2. ACT LIKE A LITTLE KID
This one is just fun. When small children get on the keyboard and have a chance to talk to people, they sometimes have more fun with the keyboard than with the conversation. So, pretend you're having a blast with the keyboard. Type your own name and "hi" too much. Use lots of emoticons. Don't respond coherently to anything the other person says.
You: hi
Stranger: hi
You: my name is alex
Stranger: hi alex
You: :)
Stranger: okay
You: qwertyuiop[]\asdfghjkl;'zxcvbnm,./
Stranger: uh?
You: flower-----------{@
3. TELEMARKETER
This one needs no example. You want to sell something, but have to talk the person into it first. To do this, act overly sincere and focus a lot on the other person, then give them a copy-and-pasted description of why they should GIVE YOU MONEY. (I myself am collecting for the Poor Vegans who Can't Eat Normal Halloween Candy fund.) This is great if you like to watch people rage quit.
4. OBSESSOR*
Another character play, except you focus on only one thing. Your character cannot stop talking about it. Your character brings every topic of conversation back to this one thing. When you pick something to be obsessed about, make that thing as convoluted and specific as possible. Good examples would be:
the history of mummifying housepets
shapes of different types of soda bottles around the world
memorizing the names of obscure programming languages
If you don't know anything about the subject or are having trouble getting the other person to say something that will bring you back to the subject, make up information. ("You're from Georgia? In 2001, Atlanta of all the cities in the U.S.") If the other person tries to suggest alternatives, such as burying housepets, jump on them with murderous rage.
If the other person knows more about the subject than you do, rage quit.
5. THE JOHN FITZGERALD PAGE METHOD
Do you know who John Fitzgerald is? If not, click on the link. If not, continue onward.
Yeah. There is probably no better way to scare someone off than to act like this guy. I have personally never done this, because it would break my poor heart.
Start off by copy-pasting a highly indulgent description of yourself (or who you would like to be,) then continue the entire conversation by talking down to them and trying to get them to impress you. Make judgements about the other person extremely quickly, and be confident in them.** To show off how smart you are, type in correct grammar and use words such as "egregious" and "behoove." Or, you could go in a completely different direction and mispell everything! Ah, so many ways.
Any other methods or ideas? Feedback? Conversation snippets?
*I am Obsessor! Draw me a sketch!
**Do the opposite in real life.
Smelly Breath
This isn't really a fully-developed idea, but this is what I learned from a class taught by an ex-paramedic:
If your breath smells like poop, it is not because you are using the wrong kind of toothpaste. You probably have fecal compaction.
If your breath smells like almonds, you are probably suffering from cyanide poisoning.
If your breath smells like wet, dead, decaying leaves, you probably have tuberculosis.
The breath of a diabetic person will smell like fruit if they don't get enough insulin.
That's wonderful information to know. It really is.
Any thoughts on or additions to breath-related medical diagnosis tools?
If your breath smells like poop, it is not because you are using the wrong kind of toothpaste. You probably have fecal compaction.
If your breath smells like almonds, you are probably suffering from cyanide poisoning.
If your breath smells like wet, dead, decaying leaves, you probably have tuberculosis.
The breath of a diabetic person will smell like fruit if they don't get enough insulin.
That's wonderful information to know. It really is.
Any thoughts on or additions to breath-related medical diagnosis tools?
Monday, October 19, 2009
Interval Training
Do you get bored sitting and waiting around with nothing to to? Probably yes. It's lucky that we'll always have the most entertaining thing around- our brains! And the second most entertaining thing- our hands!
Here's something you can do if you get bored- train yourself to better recognize intervals in music. All this requires is a brain, hands, and knowledge of a song. I am sure you know at least one song.
Also knowledge of solfege. "What is solfege?" some of you ask. I point you towards this video. "Oh," you say.
Here's something to think about: Each of your fingers represents a solfege syllable. Pick a song in your head, now dance your fingers to it, moving or tapping one finger per solfege syllable. Try as best as you can to recognize the scales, the intervals, and so forth. If you just end up dancing your fingers around, it's still a fun activity. To train yourself, think of some musical warm-ups in your head while tapping your fingers on the correct note. Try "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star." Go over the scale a couple of times.
"But I have 10 fingers and there are seven basic solfege syllables," you say.
No you don't, you have seven fingers, and they are all on one hand.
What does this look like? Well, here's a picture I made just for you in ImageReady, using the highly professional technique called "putting my hand on the screen and tracing around it with the paintbrush tool:"
My roommate says I should get that checked out.
Lovely.
So, a scale would be thumb, pointer, middle, ring, pinky, invisible, invisible, thumb.
And what do you do if the song has chromatic notes, or strange scales like the whole-tone scale?
Ha! That's for you to decide. For the chromatic tones, you can tap the finger a half-step above, the finger a half-step below, bend your knuckle halfway, do nothing, etc. For different scales, you can leave your hand as the major scale and deal with a lot of accidentals, or let your hand represent the scale that the song is actually in. You'll find that you can probably do this automatically, or get pretty close. Try this, it's fun. It's like a little hands dance.
Comments, suggestions, more helpful ideas? Tell us.
Here's something you can do if you get bored- train yourself to better recognize intervals in music. All this requires is a brain, hands, and knowledge of a song. I am sure you know at least one song.
Also knowledge of solfege. "What is solfege?" some of you ask. I point you towards this video. "Oh," you say.
Here's something to think about: Each of your fingers represents a solfege syllable. Pick a song in your head, now dance your fingers to it, moving or tapping one finger per solfege syllable. Try as best as you can to recognize the scales, the intervals, and so forth. If you just end up dancing your fingers around, it's still a fun activity. To train yourself, think of some musical warm-ups in your head while tapping your fingers on the correct note. Try "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star." Go over the scale a couple of times.
"But I have 10 fingers and there are seven basic solfege syllables," you say.
No you don't, you have seven fingers, and they are all on one hand.
What does this look like? Well, here's a picture I made just for you in ImageReady, using the highly professional technique called "putting my hand on the screen and tracing around it with the paintbrush tool:"
My roommate says I should get that checked out.
Lovely.
So, a scale would be thumb, pointer, middle, ring, pinky, invisible, invisible, thumb.
And what do you do if the song has chromatic notes, or strange scales like the whole-tone scale?
Ha! That's for you to decide. For the chromatic tones, you can tap the finger a half-step above, the finger a half-step below, bend your knuckle halfway, do nothing, etc. For different scales, you can leave your hand as the major scale and deal with a lot of accidentals, or let your hand represent the scale that the song is actually in. You'll find that you can probably do this automatically, or get pretty close. Try this, it's fun. It's like a little hands dance.
Comments, suggestions, more helpful ideas? Tell us.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Colors
Colors! We see them every day. We accept them.
Do they exist?
Thanks to our eyes and brains, we can never really "see" the real world. We can only see what our brains perceive. So can we be sure colors exist? The only way we know colors exist is because we see them, and our eyes do nothing but relay information into our brain. However, they can't be detected by anything else, except by recognizable wavelengths (or can they? Comment!)
Is the green grass green in reality? And if colors don't exist, is it randomness or shade that got them to evolve or develop that way?
How many are there?
One thing we've tried to do with colors is to break them up into components, for easier labeling. That's based on perception, though. It also doesn't work sometimes. So, In the purest form, colors are based on a very small portion of the electromagnetic spectrum. Even though colors only describe a very small portion of the electromagnetic spectrum, there might still be an infinite amount of colors we can detect.
Wavelengths are numbers, real numbers, and the set where we see colors is just a subset of the real numbers. No matter which two numbers of wavelength you pick, no matter how close the two numbers are to each other, there will always be some number in between. So, technically, we should be able to see an infinite number of colors! Provably uncountable, even.
But that's only a hypothetical guess based on mathematics. How far can we actually detect? There's probably a point where most people stop telling the difference, even if what they see should actually be a different color.
And what if we evolve to see a new, different type of color? Would it "shove over" the other colors in the spectrum of visible light, or be detectable between two different wavelengths which we currently can't differentiate from? Is the latter even possible? Is there any way to describe what it would look like? Is there any way to describe what the current colors we see even look like? If someone described a new color to us which we couldn't see before, could we learn to see that color?
Arggh.
What are your thoughts on colors? Any interesting studies? Tell us.
Do they exist?
Thanks to our eyes and brains, we can never really "see" the real world. We can only see what our brains perceive. So can we be sure colors exist? The only way we know colors exist is because we see them, and our eyes do nothing but relay information into our brain. However, they can't be detected by anything else, except by recognizable wavelengths (or can they? Comment!)
Is the green grass green in reality? And if colors don't exist, is it randomness or shade that got them to evolve or develop that way?
How many are there?
One thing we've tried to do with colors is to break them up into components, for easier labeling. That's based on perception, though. It also doesn't work sometimes. So, In the purest form, colors are based on a very small portion of the electromagnetic spectrum. Even though colors only describe a very small portion of the electromagnetic spectrum, there might still be an infinite amount of colors we can detect.
Wavelengths are numbers, real numbers, and the set where we see colors is just a subset of the real numbers. No matter which two numbers of wavelength you pick, no matter how close the two numbers are to each other, there will always be some number in between. So, technically, we should be able to see an infinite number of colors! Provably uncountable, even.
But that's only a hypothetical guess based on mathematics. How far can we actually detect? There's probably a point where most people stop telling the difference, even if what they see should actually be a different color.
And what if we evolve to see a new, different type of color? Would it "shove over" the other colors in the spectrum of visible light, or be detectable between two different wavelengths which we currently can't differentiate from? Is the latter even possible? Is there any way to describe what it would look like? Is there any way to describe what the current colors we see even look like? If someone described a new color to us which we couldn't see before, could we learn to see that color?
Arggh.
What are your thoughts on colors? Any interesting studies? Tell us.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Really Big Numbers
Really big numbers are awesome. Most people are familiar with really big numbers, and can come up with a couple on the fly. What makes big numbers interesting, though, is that when they get really big, we lose understanding of how big they are. The amount just gets abstracted into "a lot." This makes statistics a lot less effective for some people, and understanding big numbers can help many to visualize worldly events.
For example, take a googol. It's a widely known "really big number," just 10^100. It's a one with a hundred zeroes at the end. But, can we understand how big that really is? For reference, the number of atoms in the entire known universe is about 10^79. How does that compare? Initially, our brains compare the 79 with the 100, since we can envision these values.
In reality, like some of you probably know, if we subtracted 10^79 from 10^100, it would barely make a difference. It would still be about 10^100. And if we subtracted a millon times 10^79 from 10^100, it would barely make a difference. And if we subtracted a billion from 10^79 from 10^100, it would barely make a difference. The number would still be about 10^100, unless you like to measure everything to 11 significant digits. In fact, in order to make an inarguably measurable impact, you'd have to subtract a billion times a billion times 10^79.
There's something missing here. How big is 10^79? Ack.
Or how about a billion, even? It's not just the impossibly big numbers we should be having trouble with- can anyone visualize a million easily? It's not as big, so we should easily be able to figure out a way to do it.
Just for kicks, here's a visualization method my had to implement in the 4th grade. Go into a word processor, make a new document. Pick your favorite symbol. Now, take this favorite symbol and type it 10 times. Copy what you have and paste it 9 more times. Copy that and paste it 9 more times. Copy that and paste it 9 more times. Copy that and paste it 9 more times. Copy that and paste it 9 more times. Copy that and paste it 9 more times. Now you have a million!
Holy crap.
Here's a much sadder version of this activity. The creators of this image used a very effective technique to get their statistic across, and it's more hard-hitting than even the largest number I can describe. (Each of these people had a mother.)
That's about 6% of all the chickens that die every day in the U.S. for consumption. Just sayin'.
Just in, you shed about 50 million skin cells in a day. Those 50 million things were a part of your body, working in conjunction with billions of other little tiny cells to keep you alive. Around the same amount are being born, too. We're like a huge ecosystem for so many little critters.
We instinctively see that "50," and think "50 times a million... that's a lot." But, for reference, take that word processing sheet of a million characters, and multiply THAT by 50. That's how many skin cells you lose. Every single day. Every. Single. Day. Wow.
Anyone have any interesting big numbers, or ways to visualize them?
For example, take a googol. It's a widely known "really big number," just 10^100. It's a one with a hundred zeroes at the end. But, can we understand how big that really is? For reference, the number of atoms in the entire known universe is about 10^79. How does that compare? Initially, our brains compare the 79 with the 100, since we can envision these values.
In reality, like some of you probably know, if we subtracted 10^79 from 10^100, it would barely make a difference. It would still be about 10^100. And if we subtracted a millon times 10^79 from 10^100, it would barely make a difference. And if we subtracted a billion from 10^79 from 10^100, it would barely make a difference. The number would still be about 10^100, unless you like to measure everything to 11 significant digits. In fact, in order to make an inarguably measurable impact, you'd have to subtract a billion times a billion times 10^79.
There's something missing here. How big is 10^79? Ack.
Or how about a billion, even? It's not just the impossibly big numbers we should be having trouble with- can anyone visualize a million easily? It's not as big, so we should easily be able to figure out a way to do it.
Just for kicks, here's a visualization method my had to implement in the 4th grade. Go into a word processor, make a new document. Pick your favorite symbol. Now, take this favorite symbol and type it 10 times. Copy what you have and paste it 9 more times. Copy that and paste it 9 more times. Copy that and paste it 9 more times. Copy that and paste it 9 more times. Copy that and paste it 9 more times. Copy that and paste it 9 more times. Now you have a million!
Holy crap.
Here's a much sadder version of this activity. The creators of this image used a very effective technique to get their statistic across, and it's more hard-hitting than even the largest number I can describe. (Each of these people had a mother.)
That's about 6% of all the chickens that die every day in the U.S. for consumption. Just sayin'.
Just in, you shed about 50 million skin cells in a day. Those 50 million things were a part of your body, working in conjunction with billions of other little tiny cells to keep you alive. Around the same amount are being born, too. We're like a huge ecosystem for so many little critters.
We instinctively see that "50," and think "50 times a million... that's a lot." But, for reference, take that word processing sheet of a million characters, and multiply THAT by 50. That's how many skin cells you lose. Every single day. Every. Single. Day. Wow.
Anyone have any interesting big numbers, or ways to visualize them?
Friday, October 16, 2009
Games: Pen-and-paper sentence games
If you're with a large group of friends, one awesome thing to do is to play a pen-and-paper sentence game. There are no winners, no losers, and it gives a chance to showcase people's different ideas and writing abilities.
The way these games work is simple. Each person gets a pen and a piece of paper. Before playing, decide on a list of items to write about. There are a few different formats to choose from. I will give outlines for Who, What, Where, When, Why and The Dating Game.
Let's assume we're playing Who, What, Where, When, Why. The first item in Who, What, Where, When, Why is the "who," or the topic of a sentence. So, first, everybody sits in a circle. Then each person takes their pencil and paper, and writes the name of a person. It is important to not let the other players see what you are writing! When you are done, fold the paper over so that your writing is not showing, then pass it to your left. The person to your left should have the piece of paper that you wrote on, and you should have a piece of paper that the person to your right wrote on. Then, on this new sheet of paper, write down the "what," or what the person did. It should include a verb and act like a part of a sentence. When you're done, fold the paper over and pass it to the left. Get new piece of paper. Write down the "where," where the person was. Fold over. Pass to left. Then write the "when," when this happened. It can be a concrete time, or start with words such as "before, after, during," etc. Fold, pass to left. Write down the "why." This is the end of the sentence and usually starts with "because." Fold over, pass to left. Finally, have each person open up the piece of paper they have in their hands and read it out loud. The results are often hilarious.
Here is an example of a Who, What, Where, When, Why sentence:
Joan of Arc
accidentally called Domino's Pizza
on a box
while the Large Hadron Collider made electrons go weeee
because sharks cannot play ping-ping in a competitive manner.
I like this game. I like this game because the goal is to be as off-kilter as possible.
Anyway, I mentioned The Dating Game. The Dating Game has a different format than Who, What, Where, When, Why, (or W^5) and is better played with larger groups of people. The things you should write down, in order, are:
The boy's name
The girl's name
What the boy wore
What the girl wore
What the boy said at the beginning of the date
What the girl said at the beginning of the date
Where they went
What they did
What the boy said at the end of the date
What the girl said at the end of the date
Whoof! That's a lot of stuff. Example? Example. Here is an example of a condensed version of The Dating Game:
This is missing a couple things. It's missing the beginning-of-the-date part (because of some people who wanted to do karaoke) and I messed up the boy/girl order, but it's all good. Note the lines where the paper was folded- the goal is to get all of the statements on the same side of the paper. Also note the different pen colors and handwriting. You can learn about people this way- it makes a great icebreaker.
The Dating Game is also read in a different way from Who, What, Where, When, Why. Instead of reading straight off the paper, it has to be put into a coherent structure. You can designate this job to one person to make it easier. The Dating Game example above reads as:
"Zlata and Temeraire went on a date. Zlata wore a medieval dress, and Temeraire wore a Spiderman suit. They went inside a church of scientology, where they ate cheesecake. At the end of the date, Zlata said 'Ya know, when I was a little girl we lived outside Calcutta in a little wooden house' and Temeraire responded 'I AM A DIGLETT.'"
Hold on- the game showcases different ideas? Hot steamin' metadiscourse! That's what this blog is about!
Let's analyze the above responses, which all demonstrate common ways that people come up with ideas.
ZLATA: Zlata is a person who was in the room, playing a game. Picking a person in the room or someone that people know is a good way to make people give strange looks to that person.
TEMERAIRE: People love books. Book references to a favorite character are also common and fun to people who recognize the character.
A MEDIEVAL DRESS: Something that someone would not normally wear. It's boring to have them just wear a bikini, or "nothing."
A SPIDERMAN SUIT: Same thing.
INSIDE A CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY: Relating to current events. Some people are more entertained when they recognize references to the news. It makes us feel special.
EAT CHEESECAKE: Boring.
YA KNOW, WHEN I...: This both relates to something that happened earlier in the night, and is also an in-joke! Two in one.
I AM A DIGLETT: This is a perfect example of... darn it! I remember the term as 'apostrophe.' Any English people want to help me out on this? It's a word that means "a completely unexpected statement, usually in satire." In other words, randomness.
At this point, either your eyes are hazing out from reading words words words, or you are intrigued. How to make this game better? How can I make it more fun for everyone?
Oh no.
More words.
1. BE OVERLY SPECIFIC
Use adjectives. Use interruptions. Give too much information.
Looking back at the first example for W^5, the person given is Joan of Arc. How can we use these ideas to make Joan of Arc a more amusing response?
Why not tell us a bit more- "Joan of Arc, a woman not particularly known for her crabcake recipes..."
Point out the obvious- "Joan of Arc, a famous historical figure who fought for France and whose existance is debatable..."
Give her a title- "Joan of Arc: The Life, The Legend..."
Give too much information- "Joan of Arc, who was probably not into bestiality, maybe..."
Wow. Seriously. This makes everything so wonderful.
2. WRITE A FRIGGIN' NOVEL
This was inspired by a wonderful fiction writer. For each of her phrases, she would spend about two minutes coming up with something. The results were very, very entertaining.
We were given "accidentally called Domino's Pizza." I bet we can write a friggin' novel about that, yes?
"sat on the couch, staring at her feet. It had been a long day, and she was ready to close her eyes and drift off to sleep. She relaxed her shoulders and leaned back. Just as she was getting comfortable, a sharp pain in her stomach reminded her that she had not yet eaten dinner. Eating had just become another chore, since she had lost enjoyment in eating long ago. 'Uuungh,' she remarked, reaching towards a stale box of satay noodles. As she shifted, she felt her weight pushing down on an uncomfortable hard object. Upset, she searched under her behind to remove it. It was her cellphone, proudly broadcasting a little green phone next to the words 'Domino's Pizza.' It was ringing softly, as if it wanted her attention, but was too shy to ask. 'Crap,' she remarked."
Wow. Thanks for the idea, sunmoonandspoon.
Don't worry about gender agreement, the reader will usually fix it. You can also ask what gender the character is, it's legal.
3. PLAY A CHARACTER
It's exactly the same as the Halloween idea. Pick a character, give the character a voice, write through the character. Iambic pentameter, pirate, medical textbook writer, and the like.
We have "On a box." My roommate tells me this was inspired by Dr. Seuss. Writing like Dr. Seuss? That's a great idea! We can just expand that as is:
"On a box, with a fox, on a house, with a mouse..."
Just make up any kind of vernacular. It'll work.
4. KILL THE SENTENCE
Structure? Verbs? Who needs it! This idea comes from the hilarity of the boy's final sentence in GI JOE: Pork Chop Sandwiches.
We have "when the Large Hadron Collider made the electrons go weeee."
There is so much potential to kill the sentence with this one phrase that it is not even funny.
For example, just take a noun from the phrase, such as "Large Hadron Collider" or "electrons."
Or take a phraselet, like "electrons go weeee."
Or simply say "Hadron" or "weeee."
That will kill the sentence, yeah.
5. METADISCOURSE OR WORDINESS
Remember when I said 'metadiscourse' earlier? That was foreshadowing! It actually turns out to be funny when you also adopt a persona, such as a wordy essay writer or a stoned person.
Here are examples on the last part: "because sharks cannot play ping-ping in a competitive manner."
You get: "because, in fact, verily, in my opinion, the animals known as sharks, which live in the ocean, cannot play ping-pong, a game which, in my opinion, is enjoyable, in a competetive manner, in the way 'competitive is defined.' Yeah."
This truly is an awesome game and you should all play it.
Anyone want to share some particularly memorable responses to this game? Any more ideas? Tell us about it in the comments.
The way these games work is simple. Each person gets a pen and a piece of paper. Before playing, decide on a list of items to write about. There are a few different formats to choose from. I will give outlines for Who, What, Where, When, Why and The Dating Game.
Let's assume we're playing Who, What, Where, When, Why. The first item in Who, What, Where, When, Why is the "who," or the topic of a sentence. So, first, everybody sits in a circle. Then each person takes their pencil and paper, and writes the name of a person. It is important to not let the other players see what you are writing! When you are done, fold the paper over so that your writing is not showing, then pass it to your left. The person to your left should have the piece of paper that you wrote on, and you should have a piece of paper that the person to your right wrote on. Then, on this new sheet of paper, write down the "what," or what the person did. It should include a verb and act like a part of a sentence. When you're done, fold the paper over and pass it to the left. Get new piece of paper. Write down the "where," where the person was. Fold over. Pass to left. Then write the "when," when this happened. It can be a concrete time, or start with words such as "before, after, during," etc. Fold, pass to left. Write down the "why." This is the end of the sentence and usually starts with "because." Fold over, pass to left. Finally, have each person open up the piece of paper they have in their hands and read it out loud. The results are often hilarious.
Here is an example of a Who, What, Where, When, Why sentence:
Joan of Arc
accidentally called Domino's Pizza
on a box
while the Large Hadron Collider made electrons go weeee
because sharks cannot play ping-ping in a competitive manner.
I like this game. I like this game because the goal is to be as off-kilter as possible.
Anyway, I mentioned The Dating Game. The Dating Game has a different format than Who, What, Where, When, Why, (or W^5) and is better played with larger groups of people. The things you should write down, in order, are:
The boy's name
The girl's name
What the boy wore
What the girl wore
What the boy said at the beginning of the date
What the girl said at the beginning of the date
Where they went
What they did
What the boy said at the end of the date
What the girl said at the end of the date
Whoof! That's a lot of stuff. Example? Example. Here is an example of a condensed version of The Dating Game:
This is missing a couple things. It's missing the beginning-of-the-date part (because of some people who wanted to do karaoke) and I messed up the boy/girl order, but it's all good. Note the lines where the paper was folded- the goal is to get all of the statements on the same side of the paper. Also note the different pen colors and handwriting. You can learn about people this way- it makes a great icebreaker.
The Dating Game is also read in a different way from Who, What, Where, When, Why. Instead of reading straight off the paper, it has to be put into a coherent structure. You can designate this job to one person to make it easier. The Dating Game example above reads as:
"Zlata and Temeraire went on a date. Zlata wore a medieval dress, and Temeraire wore a Spiderman suit. They went inside a church of scientology, where they ate cheesecake. At the end of the date, Zlata said 'Ya know, when I was a little girl we lived outside Calcutta in a little wooden house' and Temeraire responded 'I AM A DIGLETT.'"
Hold on- the game showcases different ideas? Hot steamin' metadiscourse! That's what this blog is about!
Let's analyze the above responses, which all demonstrate common ways that people come up with ideas.
ZLATA: Zlata is a person who was in the room, playing a game. Picking a person in the room or someone that people know is a good way to make people give strange looks to that person.
TEMERAIRE: People love books. Book references to a favorite character are also common and fun to people who recognize the character.
A MEDIEVAL DRESS: Something that someone would not normally wear. It's boring to have them just wear a bikini, or "nothing."
A SPIDERMAN SUIT: Same thing.
INSIDE A CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY: Relating to current events. Some people are more entertained when they recognize references to the news. It makes us feel special.
EAT CHEESECAKE: Boring.
YA KNOW, WHEN I...: This both relates to something that happened earlier in the night, and is also an in-joke! Two in one.
I AM A DIGLETT: This is a perfect example of... darn it! I remember the term as 'apostrophe.' Any English people want to help me out on this? It's a word that means "a completely unexpected statement, usually in satire." In other words, randomness.
At this point, either your eyes are hazing out from reading words words words, or you are intrigued. How to make this game better? How can I make it more fun for everyone?
Oh no.
More words.
1. BE OVERLY SPECIFIC
Use adjectives. Use interruptions. Give too much information.
Looking back at the first example for W^5, the person given is Joan of Arc. How can we use these ideas to make Joan of Arc a more amusing response?
Why not tell us a bit more- "Joan of Arc, a woman not particularly known for her crabcake recipes..."
Point out the obvious- "Joan of Arc, a famous historical figure who fought for France and whose existance is debatable..."
Give her a title- "Joan of Arc: The Life, The Legend..."
Give too much information- "Joan of Arc, who was probably not into bestiality, maybe..."
Wow. Seriously. This makes everything so wonderful.
2. WRITE A FRIGGIN' NOVEL
This was inspired by a wonderful fiction writer. For each of her phrases, she would spend about two minutes coming up with something. The results were very, very entertaining.
We were given "accidentally called Domino's Pizza." I bet we can write a friggin' novel about that, yes?
"sat on the couch, staring at her feet. It had been a long day, and she was ready to close her eyes and drift off to sleep. She relaxed her shoulders and leaned back. Just as she was getting comfortable, a sharp pain in her stomach reminded her that she had not yet eaten dinner. Eating had just become another chore, since she had lost enjoyment in eating long ago. 'Uuungh,' she remarked, reaching towards a stale box of satay noodles. As she shifted, she felt her weight pushing down on an uncomfortable hard object. Upset, she searched under her behind to remove it. It was her cellphone, proudly broadcasting a little green phone next to the words 'Domino's Pizza.' It was ringing softly, as if it wanted her attention, but was too shy to ask. 'Crap,' she remarked."
Wow. Thanks for the idea, sunmoonandspoon.
Don't worry about gender agreement, the reader will usually fix it. You can also ask what gender the character is, it's legal.
3. PLAY A CHARACTER
It's exactly the same as the Halloween idea. Pick a character, give the character a voice, write through the character. Iambic pentameter, pirate, medical textbook writer, and the like.
We have "On a box." My roommate tells me this was inspired by Dr. Seuss. Writing like Dr. Seuss? That's a great idea! We can just expand that as is:
"On a box, with a fox, on a house, with a mouse..."
Just make up any kind of vernacular. It'll work.
4. KILL THE SENTENCE
Structure? Verbs? Who needs it! This idea comes from the hilarity of the boy's final sentence in GI JOE: Pork Chop Sandwiches.
We have "when the Large Hadron Collider made the electrons go weeee."
There is so much potential to kill the sentence with this one phrase that it is not even funny.
For example, just take a noun from the phrase, such as "Large Hadron Collider" or "electrons."
Or take a phraselet, like "electrons go weeee."
Or simply say "Hadron" or "weeee."
That will kill the sentence, yeah.
5. METADISCOURSE OR WORDINESS
Remember when I said 'metadiscourse' earlier? That was foreshadowing! It actually turns out to be funny when you also adopt a persona, such as a wordy essay writer or a stoned person.
Here are examples on the last part: "because sharks cannot play ping-ping in a competitive manner."
You get: "because, in fact, verily, in my opinion, the animals known as sharks, which live in the ocean, cannot play ping-pong, a game which, in my opinion, is enjoyable, in a competetive manner, in the way 'competitive is defined.' Yeah."
This truly is an awesome game and you should all play it.
Anyone want to share some particularly memorable responses to this game? Any more ideas? Tell us about it in the comments.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Halloween Costumes: Part 1
Ok, it's very, very close to Halloween. I love Halloween! I've had trouble coming up with a costume idea, though. If you're in the same boat, here are a few things you can think about. With a bit of thought, some of these costumes can have EPIC potential. I'm really sorry, but "epic" does not necessarily mean they will like this. Sad.
1. FRIEND-PARTICIPATION COSTUME
If you want to have a costume that random people can add to and have an awesome costume by the end of the day, a friend-participation costume is probably good for you.
One idea is to go as a tree data structure. You could probably just tie wires to your limbs, and tie wires to the wires until you look like a tree. Then have friends attach things to you! This costume would require just wires and duct tape.
Or you could just skip the wire and have people duct-tape things to you.
Another costume, as suggested by an awesome person named Anne, is a recycling bin. Find a box or old recycling bin, cut legholes, possibly make arm straps, and then walk around all day, letting people put their recycling in you.
Dude, that's awesome! I think this is going to be my costume.
2. BE AN EVERYDAY OBJECT
This has the potential to be hilariously epic, especially if you have a lot of time to put into your costume. Giant anything is great. Tube of lip balm? Drop of water? Fill containers on your arms with liquid soap and go as a public bathroom soap dispenser? Make a GIANT pair of word pants? Take lots of tissue paper, crumble it up, paint one side yellow, and make a giant corn. Then, if you stick it right, you can have people pull off the kernels, and make popcorn!
And if you go as a calendar, you can get one of those giant school calendars from Staples and have people write stuff on you! It doubles as a friend-participation costume, see? A one-man percussion band would also be cool.
Obscuring your face also makes the costume a lot more funny, so if you want to make a very detailed costume, focus on the face and have your head covered.
Electrical cord head? Stovetop face? Head in an old Tupperware container surrounded by plastic food?
3. COMBINE OLD COSTUMES
Now, how many times on the internet have you heard the construction "Now, x is awesome. But it's not just x, it's y x. And it doesn't stop there. Instead, it's z y x." Hopefully, enough for me to prove a point. Fact is, you can combine an old pirate costume with an old werewolf costume with some neon socks, give yourself a memorable name, and run around excited the entire night. I recommend "Count Fabulous."
You can even give yourself a theme- like pink objects, superheroes, etc.
Personally? When I was six or so, my costume was a gypsy bunny princess something something.
4. SPANDEX MAKES EVERYTHING BETTER
It really does.
I can't find a picture, but the ones covering your face are really trippy. If you get a green one, you can make videos where you green-screen your entire self.
5. ACT AS A CHARACTER
Ok, your costume may not show up in photos, but your act will be memorable. There are so many possibilities for character roleplay on Halloween that it's not funny. Do you enjoy pretending to be a time-traveler? Do you have a very bad case of amnesia? Can you wear an ascot and speak in iambic pentameter? Were you hit by a badly functioning freeze ray and can only move for a couple seconds at a time? (No, not the Dr. Horrible freeze ray.) Do you speak only in onomatopoeia?
Also, character acts take up very little money or crafting skill, and increase your improvisation and acting talents! Very good for people who never have enough time!
Anyways, does anyone have interesting costume stories or ideas to share? Tell us about it!
1. FRIEND-PARTICIPATION COSTUME
If you want to have a costume that random people can add to and have an awesome costume by the end of the day, a friend-participation costume is probably good for you.
One idea is to go as a tree data structure. You could probably just tie wires to your limbs, and tie wires to the wires until you look like a tree. Then have friends attach things to you! This costume would require just wires and duct tape.
Or you could just skip the wire and have people duct-tape things to you.
Another costume, as suggested by an awesome person named Anne, is a recycling bin. Find a box or old recycling bin, cut legholes, possibly make arm straps, and then walk around all day, letting people put their recycling in you.
Dude, that's awesome! I think this is going to be my costume.2. BE AN EVERYDAY OBJECT
This has the potential to be hilariously epic, especially if you have a lot of time to put into your costume. Giant anything is great. Tube of lip balm? Drop of water? Fill containers on your arms with liquid soap and go as a public bathroom soap dispenser? Make a GIANT pair of word pants? Take lots of tissue paper, crumble it up, paint one side yellow, and make a giant corn. Then, if you stick it right, you can have people pull off the kernels, and make popcorn!
And if you go as a calendar, you can get one of those giant school calendars from Staples and have people write stuff on you! It doubles as a friend-participation costume, see? A one-man percussion band would also be cool.
Obscuring your face also makes the costume a lot more funny, so if you want to make a very detailed costume, focus on the face and have your head covered.
Electrical cord head? Stovetop face? Head in an old Tupperware container surrounded by plastic food?
3. COMBINE OLD COSTUMES
Now, how many times on the internet have you heard the construction "Now, x is awesome. But it's not just x, it's y x. And it doesn't stop there. Instead, it's z y x." Hopefully, enough for me to prove a point. Fact is, you can combine an old pirate costume with an old werewolf costume with some neon socks, give yourself a memorable name, and run around excited the entire night. I recommend "Count Fabulous."
You can even give yourself a theme- like pink objects, superheroes, etc.
Personally? When I was six or so, my costume was a gypsy bunny princess something something.
4. SPANDEX MAKES EVERYTHING BETTER
It really does.
I can't find a picture, but the ones covering your face are really trippy. If you get a green one, you can make videos where you green-screen your entire self.
5. ACT AS A CHARACTER
Ok, your costume may not show up in photos, but your act will be memorable. There are so many possibilities for character roleplay on Halloween that it's not funny. Do you enjoy pretending to be a time-traveler? Do you have a very bad case of amnesia? Can you wear an ascot and speak in iambic pentameter? Were you hit by a badly functioning freeze ray and can only move for a couple seconds at a time? (No, not the Dr. Horrible freeze ray.) Do you speak only in onomatopoeia?
Also, character acts take up very little money or crafting skill, and increase your improvisation and acting talents! Very good for people who never have enough time!
Anyways, does anyone have interesting costume stories or ideas to share? Tell us about it!
WORD PANTS
I was sitting near someone yesterday, and realized that they had WORD PANTS!
Simply put, these are pants with words going vertically down the side of one leg. I would post a picture, but don't want to deal with copyright infringement or anything that could come from posting a picture online. Also, Google image searching "word pants" isn't as helpful as one would think.
Upon seeing this, I did what any normal person would do, which is to shout "WORD PANTS! YOU HAVE WORD PANTS! I LOVE IT!" and giggle about it on and off for two days. Think about it! T-shirts with words on them can be funny, but word pants are funny simply by the fact that they are going vertically down someone's leg. Just saying "word pants" is fun.
I could not help myself. As soon as I get enough money, I want to buy a new pair of pants and 200 frillion Swarovski crystals and inserts, and spell WORD PANTS in humungous letters down the side. Then I would walk around for an entire week in them yelling about word pants and giggling every time I look down. Sadly, I am a college student and use the money I get from my job for donating to various causes and feeding my face with food.
Anyone want to make word pants now? WORD PANTS. Are you shameless and have lots of fabric or a basement full of rhinestones? WORD PANTS. If you make these or have these, I will happily post you. Because that? Is awesome.
Simply put, these are pants with words going vertically down the side of one leg. I would post a picture, but don't want to deal with copyright infringement or anything that could come from posting a picture online. Also, Google image searching "word pants" isn't as helpful as one would think.
Upon seeing this, I did what any normal person would do, which is to shout "WORD PANTS! YOU HAVE WORD PANTS! I LOVE IT!" and giggle about it on and off for two days. Think about it! T-shirts with words on them can be funny, but word pants are funny simply by the fact that they are going vertically down someone's leg. Just saying "word pants" is fun.
I could not help myself. As soon as I get enough money, I want to buy a new pair of pants and 200 frillion Swarovski crystals and inserts, and spell WORD PANTS in humungous letters down the side. Then I would walk around for an entire week in them yelling about word pants and giggling every time I look down. Sadly, I am a college student and use the money I get from my job for donating to various causes and feeding my face with food.
Anyone want to make word pants now? WORD PANTS. Are you shameless and have lots of fabric or a basement full of rhinestones? WORD PANTS. If you make these or have these, I will happily post you. Because that? Is awesome.
I should be doing homework, but...
Hello all! So, one night, while figuring out how to implement an algorithm in Scheme, my brain did something like this:
Liz: So... is that mutually recursive, or do we just pass it through an evaluator, or...
Liz's brain: LET'S WRITE A BLOG ABOUT IDEAS!
Since my poor, poor brain has had not a second of free time this past week, I decided to grant its wish. I promise you ideas. Lots of them. Some of them will be extremely silly and make no sense, and some of them might be the sort of fluff you'd expect from someone who spends three hours having an existential crisis because they watched a bug die. There will be useful gift ideas and ideas to spark creativity. There will probably be some math, or some useful problem-solving techniques, or some dreams. Oh, the dreams. As a natural lucid dreamer, I have very, very strange dreams.
I do not want this blog to be about myself. To take a page out of ZeFrank's book, I want you all to respond to the ideas! Respond! Make new ones! It's not interesting if I'm the only one who comes up with things here. Luckily, I'm probably not! If you like listening to, sharing, or implementing ideas, please stay! I'd love to have you.
Liz: So... is that mutually recursive, or do we just pass it through an evaluator, or...
Liz's brain: LET'S WRITE A BLOG ABOUT IDEAS!
Since my poor, poor brain has had not a second of free time this past week, I decided to grant its wish. I promise you ideas. Lots of them. Some of them will be extremely silly and make no sense, and some of them might be the sort of fluff you'd expect from someone who spends three hours having an existential crisis because they watched a bug die. There will be useful gift ideas and ideas to spark creativity. There will probably be some math, or some useful problem-solving techniques, or some dreams. Oh, the dreams. As a natural lucid dreamer, I have very, very strange dreams.
I do not want this blog to be about myself. To take a page out of ZeFrank's book, I want you all to respond to the ideas! Respond! Make new ones! It's not interesting if I'm the only one who comes up with things here. Luckily, I'm probably not! If you like listening to, sharing, or implementing ideas, please stay! I'd love to have you.
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